Dear Readers,
Today is Valentine’s Day, a day set aside to celebrate love. The airwaves will be enveloped in very romantic songs guaranteed to awaken, in young and old, the sentiments of love.
For some of us, it would be trip back to yesteryears, to those days when the world was a beautiful canvass made of rose petal paints; when all we lived for was the voice and face of that special person; when hearts missed fantastic beats and when even the birds could compose for us love poems if only we understood its lyrics.
Doubtless, love is a powerful mix, but not properly managed can be a dream destroyer.
While entrepreneurs will today make so much profit from keeping alive this tradition of Valentine, reality indicates that so many young girls will today lose out on the bright tomorrow they dreamt of.
The reason for this is simple. A lot of mood music will bring out the monsters in some young men; help them to become careless and daring. Any girl unfortunate to walk into this mood would become prey and victim of this year’s Valentine’s Day.
A letter came in recently from a young lady, 16, and a mother of a 10-week-old baby. I deliberately kept this letter till today because is a story of the other side of Valentine.
According to Esther, the writer of this letter, she and her friends went on a Valentine Day’s outing last year in the company of some male colleagues from school. They decided to go to the beach since it was a Sunday.
According to her, the mood music at the beach was enough to make anybody fall in love all over again.
She danced with one of the boys from her school and before she knew what was happening, they were at a secluded place by the beach where they had the privacy to explore each other’s body. Lost in the lyrics of the mood music as well as the love poisoned general theme of the day, the boy forced himself on her right there at the beach.
In her words, “I was too ashamed to do anything about it because I was also carried away by the romance in the air to protest too much. Although he later apologised but the harm had been done. From the appearances of my friends, I discovered I wasn’t the only one; later all the girls confessed to have done it willingly or was forced into it.”
Unfortunately, that one moment of unguarded pleasure resulted into a pregnancy. Even though the boy in question was decent enough to accept responsibility of the child, she was who dropped out of school to have the child while the boy moved on with his life.
She is the one who has to bear the title of ‘after-one’ as well as the burden of having a child at 16. As the woman, she is the one who has to, for the rest of her life, explain her moral values, try to erase wrong impressions of her by people who think any woman who has a child at the age she did is simply promiscuous.
She asked three important questions in her letter to me; “is the celebration of the day really worth it? I am today a premature mother because of Valentine’s Day. Can’t it be banned? Is there any way young girls like me can be educated on the dangers ahead of the day? Auntie Agatha, help prevent what happened to me from happening to other innocent girls.
Hum… Esther I hope you are reading this. Our yearly series “Just Before Valentine” is aimed at preventing something like this.
The Value of Valentine’s Day can only be appreciated if we stop clothing it with the garment of romance only. Love is too profound and vital to limit its celebration to just one day.
Every extra day we spend on earth is a gift of love from God. Without love the world would be blanketed in hatred and that is why everywhere around us, violence is reigning supreme. If love were given a free rein to flow in our veins and souls, no fellow human being would raise a finger against a fellow human being let alone using dangerous weapons like machetes to chop off heads of fellow human beings especially defenseless women and innocent children.
A look around us shows that we need another kind of love. The kind that showcases the dignity of human life; the kind that encourages wives to accord their husbands irrespective of his economical relevance in the home quality respect; the kind that teaches children that though our tribes, tongues and religions may differ but in brotherhood we stand; the kind of love that eradicates selfishness and encourages friendship across the world.
Valentine’s Day is deeper than emblem of a one-day thing. If we are conscious of its meaning we would give unconditionally to our partners support, friendship, loyalty and dedication as well as learn to be patient with our relationships when things are not going our way.
Just like those beasts in human clothing masquerading as humans in Jos and other troubled spots in the country, any man who hides under the excuse of celebrating lovers’ day to debase a woman isn’t different from those murderers.
Love is a constant thing, a vital part of our lives. Everyday is a celebration of love.
As we commemorate Valentine’s Day, young girls especially should be mindful of the quality of men they go out with today as well as where they go. They should avoid staying out very late to avoid the ugly incident of ‘celebrating’ it with a total stranger.
Young girls like Esther should celebrate with their families at home.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.
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