Friday, July 3, 2009

My Girl’s Past Haunts Our Dream


Dear Agatha.


I am a boy of 24 years and student of the University of Abuja.

I am currently dating a girl whom before I met lived a very dangerous life. In addition, she is secretive and has a very pretentious nature.

In December last year, a cousin of hers who unfortunately died in January this year cautioned me on the need to be very strict with her due to her nature and tendencies.

This information led me to question her about her past and person. At first, she didn’t say anything but one day capitulated to my pressures. She told me the reason she abandoned her former lifestyle is because of me. After my talk she also left the group she belonged.

According to her, the specialty of this group is to blackmail prominent men. Perhaps the most shocking and surprising thing about this is the involvement of her uncle in crime chain. As a matter of fact her uncle dragged her into it.

Now the group is threatening to expose her to the public and at the same time deal with her. They are aware that a man is responsible for her quitting the trade but they don’t know my identity. They have written several letters to her and always bring them to me to read.

Honestly, I am in love with her. She has done things to prove to me that she also falls head on toe with me. The most shocking of the discovery is meeting her intact the first time we made love. Please help me out because I don’t know how to handle this matter at all.

M.E.O.


Dear M.E.O.,

Meeting her a virgin shows that whatever quality of life she led while she was with this gang didn’t affect her person and character. Whatever her uncle used her for only affected her superficially, a good sign that whatever the situation this kind of woman finds herself she can be trusted to hold her own.

However, that doesn’t eliminate the implications of the threat letters she is receiving from the gang. Since she has insider’s information, she too can blackmail the gang by threatening to go to the Police with the information about them and how they have been using her to blackmail men into submitting to their demands. She should also go a step further by threatening to make public all the lists of men they have blackmailed and also those they are planning to blackmail. Threatening to expose their modus operandi to the same members of public that they want to expose her to would make them think twice. This is because she won’t be the only one they would have lost but their main source of income. Blackmailers don’t like being blackmailed so when they are pushed to the wall, like the cowards they are, run for cover.

Refusing to be intimidated is the only way she can win this battle and maintain her sanity. But there is also the need for her to report these threats to the Police to prevent any ugly incident whether now or in the future.

She should be bold to report the matter at the Police Station leaving the Police to decide whether the matter worth pursuing or not.

This is very pertinent because if they go to the Police before her, it could spell trouble for her as well as your relationship with her especially if paraded as an accomplice in the crime of blackmail.

But going to the Police first offers her soft landing in case the gang becomes desperate and careless in the process of getting her back at all cost.

This is the time she needs your confidence and wisdom to get through all these. Make sure she has enough confidence in your love and trust to do what is right at the end of the day.

Good luck.

My Fiancé’s Ex Threatens Fire If We Dare Altar


Dear Agatha,


I really thank God for using you in solving our problems. Please do not relent this good work.

I am into a relationship that is almost five years old. January this year, my friend proposed marriage and I accepted.

But by March my problem started. Precisely, on March 3 a strange ••Glo•• phone number sent a text message to my fiancé. At first, the person sounded as if coming from a spiritual viewpoint. The sender of the message claimed there were so many visions that didn’t support our marriage. The person, who sent the message whose gender couldn’t be identified from the text initially instructed my fiancé to leave me or face the embarrassment of me leaving him when he least expects.

After sometime, the tone changed and the gender identity could be confirmed. She vowed that my fiancé and I will never get married.

Last month, I was walking down the road with my eldest sister when three boys stopped us to warn me against continuing with the wedding plan else they will teach me a hard lesson.

My sister was angry and afraid like I did too because of this open threat.

Two weeks after the incident, I travelled out of town, but when I returned my neighbours told me that two boys and a girl came, asking them to tell me to leave her husband alone. Their faces were unfamiliar, my neighbours noted.

Recently, the person sent another text message threatening to come to my office to disgrace me if I don’t discontinue the relationship. My fiancé is of the view that the person is joking or not serious.

Please what do you think I should do in this situation? I am so confused.

Favour.


Dear Favour,

Since your fiancé appears to be taking the entire thing with levity, inform him of your intentions to report the matter to the Police since this is a clear case of threat to your life. The danger of the whole thing is that from whosoever these threats are coming, they know everything about you whereas you don’t even know who they are.

This heightens the danger because your attacker can be anybody when you least expect it. Anybody who would go to the extent of hiring people to issue physical threats to you on the road as well as in your house can’t be joking about their demands. In these days of kidnap and acid baths, every threat must be viewed as serious enough to get the police involved.

Good enough, there is modern technology that enables the service providers to zero in on the identity as well as locations of callers. Once a report is made, the Police will get to the bottom of the matter if your fiancé keeps insisting on not knowing who the culprits are.

For now be vigilant and don’t hesitate to report any strange movement around you to the Police. If possible, relocate quietly to another place and place the management of your office on alert. Tell your supervisors at work all about the threats. This is to help you manage the consequences of their threats should they actually come to make trouble at your office.

Frankly, the attitude of your husband to be is a little bit worrisome. Since the threats are coming from a woman, there is no way he can feign ignorance of the possible identity of the person. Ask him pointedly if he has at any time, before or during your relationship, promised another woman marriage. If yes, who is the woman and why did they part.

From the extent this other lady is bent on going his involvement with this lady appears current. Demand to know the truth since it is your life that stands on the line. Your five years of being together can only come to a happy ending if you are alive and of good health.

His major task is to protect you from these threats. Irrespective of how much damage it would bring to your relationship, he should be bold enough to come out with what he knows about the identity of this other lady to end the emotional turmoil you are passing through.

As it is, you are groping alone in the dark. Whatever that is giving him the confidence to treat the naked threats with levity should be shared with you, who is at the receiving end. To make him appreciate the situation, tell him to imagine if the threats were coming from your end, how he would feel if you give it the same treatment.

The other point is his reactions to issues affecting you. If he doesn’t think this is serious enough to offer you his protection what can else be more serious? The ideal thing would have been for him to go to the source of the problem to deal with it once and for all before giving such assurances. Had those people met you at home, there is no telling what they could have done to you. For them to have gone to the extent of leaving a warning with your neighbours underscores their determination and intent.

Insist you need his assurances and protection now more than ever before. It is well.

Good luck.