My elder brother is responsible for my condition

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626 Dear Agatha, I am writing to you for prayers. I have been reading your columns for a long time. I am 41 years old and would say I am not doing what is expected of my age. I was exceptionally brilliant in my growing up years. I cannot remember any time I came second in my class in primary and secondary schools. After my secondary education, I joined my eldest brother and his family in Port Harcourt from the village. Since then my path turned negative. A lot happened. It took me eight years to gain admission and it was hell for me to graduate. Coming from a science background, I find it hard to believe what family members are saying. We are nine in number but, it is only in the eldest son’s house, one can find comfort. He had on many occasions made it known that he will be the one to determine our fate at every given point. My other siblings have reported these threats to our parents but he would always buy them over with money and gifts. At a point, the family was divided between him and others. He later got supporters from three family members. Now, as it stands, two of his supporters have left him. According to them, the various men of God they visited told them that a member of the family is using the stars of others. My problem with my eldest brother is his high handedness, self-centeredness and other vices. Because of my opposition to his ways, I have never been in his good books. The event surrounding my business and of late, health is why I need prayers. Since I left my brother in 2006, I have never had any success or breakthrough. I keep recording losses in all the different businesses as well as relationships. Now my health has gone bad. I may die if no one rescues me from his grip. Pray for me or connect me to any Man of God you know does not use any negative powers Agatha. FN. Dear FN, Given the story you have told, you are right to run to God for help since He is the only one that has the powers and ability to rescue you from this kind of problem. He also has the power to equally direct you to the place and person He has prepared for your deliverance. This is because what works for one person may not work for another person. We all have our individual pastors and churches. So, it is important you talk first to God through prayers where you should go. You may have to go to a prayer mountain first to seek the face of God on how to proceed in this matter. When going, ensure you are fasting and be prepared to spend sometime in the presence of God because tough situation requires extra-ordinary solutions. Your case is made more complicated because the person at the centre of your problem is your blood, your elder brother who has also compromised your parents in the spiritual war against you. In truth your parents may not know the source of his wealth, but their unwillingness to question the allegations against him by all the other members of the family, makes them culpable due to their greed. It might be a good idea for you, until you are through with your spiritual deliverance not to confide in any member of your family particularly because of the previous attempts of your brother to buy over some members of your family. The wisdom to keeping seal ed lips when going for these kinds of assignments or journey is to avoid unnecessary and avoidable battles that follow them. The devil and his agents don’t give up easily. They are never willingly let go of their prey; are always determined to hold on as long as they can. Besides, since there is no telling who their agents is, it is always better to keep sealed lips when going for such exercises. Above all, learn to be patient because most times God doesn’t answer as fast as we desire. To be right with God, one must have absolute faith and trust in His ways. You must appreciate that His ways aren’t known to man and that He isn’t a magician whose answers come instantly as many people desire. Besides, to wrestle powers from people like your brother, you need to be focused on God and His ways no matter how difficult the beginning of your relationship with God gets. Make the Bible your constant companion because therein lives the power, presence and mystery of God. Good luck.

My ward is pregnant at 13

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626 Dear Agatha, Please help me resolve this problem in my home. It has to do with ward and my younger brother. My ward’s parents died when she was still young. She was actually handed over to my mother by the elders of our village and who in turn handed her over to me when she was about to die. I was warned by my mother, never to drive her away, no matter what. Despite my husband’s opposition to my decision to bring her home, given his limited resources, I still held on to her. When she started sprouting, my husband called me to warn me against leaving her in the company of my younger brother. I ignored him because I thought my brother also took her as his sister. It wasn’t until recently I discovered that my brother was sleeping with her. It isn’t only that: she is three months pregnant and only 13. My faith doesn’t permit me to abort for her but what will I tell all the people who witnessed my mother giving her to me and her instruction that I look after her? If my daughter who is her age isn’t pregnant, what will I tell people? Besides, my husband has threatened to drive me out of the house if I don’t send her out of the house. He says he cannot continue to habour my brother, the girl and their unborn child. This trouble is too much for me. I don’t even know how I am going to confront the villagers with this development at all. My brother is 25; he has finished his university education and service year but is yet to secure a job. The issues are all beyond me. Confused Woman. Dear confused Woman, Sincerely you don’t have problems except the ones you are creating for yourself. In the first place, your brother didn’t deny responsibility for his actions. At least the unborn child has a father who is not just old enough but well equipped educationally to fend for his new family. He is more than outfitted to face the challenges of his life. A man old enough to appreciate the backside of a woman should be ready to face the outcome of that desire. The only unfortunate thing is the age of the girl involved. At 13, she is still very much a child herself, who should be under her mother’s watchful eyes. Perhaps this is where your real worry comes from. If your child who is her age isn’t pregnant, how come the one put under your care by the village is? Obviously something is wrong somewhere. There is no way, your daughter who should be her best friend wouldn’t know about the romance between the two. If your husband warned you about them, your daughter must have known unless of course, your ward isn’t going to school in which case, nobody is always around to witness the expression of their feelings for each other. This is the area you certainly have questions to answer because there is no way you will not be accused for negligence, especially as she committed the act right under your roof. For a young girl, who hasn’t become expert at disguising her feelings, she won’t have been able to disguise her emotions for your brother whenever she comes into contact with him. If you were around or observant of them, especially the young girl; you would have been able to deduce the exchange of romantic feelings between the two of them. Well, at this point, there is nothing you can do about the situation but to accept the inevitable. To protect your marriage, ask your brother to look for a place of his own so he can take her with him since it would be expecting too much for your husband to take on the responsibility of housing both of them. But for the sake of the young girl’s health, don’t be far from them. Until she puts to birth, continue to show interest in her welfare. This is important to avert another tragedy in the family; she remains your burden and ward. She can still go back to school after she puts to bed. By allowing her face the burden of her action is to school her in the course of discipline and setting the right priority in life. Furthermore, insist your brother doesn’t maltreat her and that he treats her with the respect she deserves afterall; if he found her woman enough to sleep with, he should find her woman enough to marry and keep. Although the case appears really bad, but it will blow over eventually as similar cases have done in the past. Just keep encouraging both of them; it is all you can do for now. Good luck,