Monday, February 9, 2009

My Father Wants Re-seat For Failed Exams In Same School


Dear Agatha,


I am a student who didn't pass his Senior Secondary School Examination (SSSE) as well as his National Examination Council's (NECO).


My father reacted to my failures by insisting I go back to my former school, not only to repeat the examination but to start from SS2.


I am so distressed at this because I would be in the same class with my juniors. None of my mates who failed came back to the school to repeat a class. I have pleaded with my father to take me to another school where I am unknown, but he remains adamant over his decision to send me back to my former school.


I too have made up my mind not to attend the school; as a matter of fact, I entered into a covenant with God never to. When I was forced to resume in the school, I became so sick that the school authority insisted I go home to rest.


Please help me because I don't know what else to do.


Nike.





Dear Nike,


You left your father with no choice but to take the action he took. Failing your Senior School Certificate Examinations as well as the National Examination Council's left him with no choice but to take a drastic decision to ensure your life got back on line.


Had you invested more time on your studies as well as applied yourself to the business of earning a good education when you had all the opportunity, he won't be forcing you to do things his own way.


He is refusing to listen to you and insisting on doing things his own way because you betrayed the trust and freedom he earlier gave you. He allowed you to do your thing and what did he get in return for all the financial and emotional resources he invested in your secondary school education? Embarrassing failures!


While I concur that going back to that school to repeat the classes may have adverse effect on you at least psychologically, but your father seems to think repeating classes with those who were two years younger to you may make you sit up and give you ample opportunity to catch up on the lost opportunity you seem to have lost.


Your academic performances must have been dismal and disappointing for him to insist you went back two years. You honestly may not see things his way but what he has designed for you is in your best interest; aimed at ensuring you put your nose back on the important things in life and not on those things that aren't so important.


Somewhere along the line you must have lost focus on your priority; on the reason why you were in school and what your being in school and passing your examinations well was supposed to help you achieve in life. You also forgot that a good education is the only legacy and visa you need to achieve the impossible and that while it has a time frame, all the other things you think are important would also remain in vogue anytime you are ready.


His determination to send you back two years is to appreciate the essence of time. You are sick and embarrassed to go back to that school, because of the mockery and humiliation of being in class with your juniors as well as having some of them graduating from the school before you. You are in this mess because you didn't value your time well when you had it. You gave your time a new configuration rather than allow your time define your next move. This is penalty you have to face; the humiliation of going back to your former school. Had you used your time well, you wouldn't be in this messy situation.


Therefore, it would be in your interest not to allow the humiliation of this moment rob you of another opportunity at reconstructing your life. Nothing good comes without pains and sometimes humiliating experiences. This is the bridge you must cross to swim to your land of glory. The water may look muddy and taste bitter but it is for your own good. It is your life, future and dream. Your father can only try to help but the choice of what you do with it is yours to make. If you fail to prioritise or concentrate on passing your examinations now, chances of being able to make it after this time out would be almost impossible. The barrier between you and success isn't time but your own fears and pride which in this instance make you your worst enemy and not the father who insists you go back to school and learn to read and study to pass your examinations well. The fact that you are on a second missionary journey gives you an edge over the rest.


With your experience, you now know better. If you were wise, you would use the opportunity provided by this time to sharpen all your dull edges with the aim of excelling. The opportunity you have now is to undo the damage done in the past.


Your father is insisting because, you have not shown any sign of remorse because if you had, it is not by giving him options to either send you to another school or nothing. You would have obeyed him first before complaining; telling him about your feelings.


Having failed, you are in no position to negotiate anything but to submit yourself to his rules for now if you want him to listen to you.


When things get this rickety between teenagers and their parents, being recalcitrant wouldn't yield any positive result. He might take you off the school if he is convinced the lesson he wants you to learn has been learnt by you.


Knowing that God is a God who cherishes obedience, there is no way He would support you to disobey your parents. Hence, the so-called covenant you claimed to have entered into with Him is null and void. You are sick because of your own fears and pride; not because God doesn't want you to make a success of your life.


Don't allow the devil to use the opportunity you have provided by your attitude or thinking to deny you of your future or the importance of your father's decision.


Devil will never allow you succeed unless you are determined to wrestle your destiny from his grips. Ignore the shame of your situation or the laughter of those around you; remember they don't matter as much as you making it in life. The end always justifies the means at which we got to the point of breakthrough.


Because nobody sees or knows tomorrow, those who are today making fun of your situation may end up praising your fortitude in life. Everything that happens to us in life is meant to strength us for the greater challenges ahead.


One thing is certain, God is never early, never late, but always on time. Whatever today holds for you is what God has planned to happen, so it is in your interest you embrace it with joy and the peace of mind you require to make it. Who knows, he could change his mind if you obey him.


Good luck.