He forfeits my photos when I called it quit…

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626

Dear Agatha,
I was in a relationship with a boy currently 20 years of age. I am 18 and we are both in the same school and class. We are both in class three of Senior Secondary School (SSS) although in different arms.

We became close when we went for a seminar organised by the school. We exchanged numbers. He called one night to ask what I was wearing, the question was very irritating to me and I ended up terminating the call.

Some days later, my very close friend called me to give me a message from her pastor, someone I don’t know and who doesn’t know me either.

Following this message, I told him I wasn’t interested anymore in the relationship and gave him reasons I was taking the decision. He refused saying he is different from other boys I know. I have deleted everything about him from my phone but he has refused to give me back my photograph as well as forget me.

I am really scared and confused because tomorrow is very pregnant.

Stacia.


Dear Stacia,

Indeed your tomorrow is very pregnant and what it brings forth is how much seriousness you invest into it today. If you neglect the important things in life for the frivolous, that tomorrow will surely bring up a package you will be ashamed of, but if you take time out to properly cultivate and water it will the right nutrients, you will have a lot to be happy for.

The life of a woman is very delicate and can easily snap whereas that of the man is timeless. A man of 90 can still begin life afresh as long as he has air in him whereas that of the woman begins to wean at half of this age. He can become a father to as many children as he wants in a day, whereas at that age the woman is already too wrinkled to think of the warmth of her man. Therefore a woman has a short time to be serious and focused if she hopes to have a stress free life.

Your concern should be how to pass your Senior Secondary School Leaving Certificate Examinations not worrying over a boy. You at a very delicate stage in your life, one you need every concentration to overcome with ease and flying colours.

You don’t need a pastor’s warning to know you have to be careful. Apart from being at the most important stage in your educational pursuit, you are also at the most fragile stage in your life. Any mistake you make now will have far reaching impact on your life. You are in a stage where you can either make or mar your entire future so be careful what you market as being most important to you.

If you give the impression that boys are what you want the most now, they would come in large numbers. If this boy isn’t ready to let go of you, you let him go. Stop picking his calls if necessary since he isn’t ready to be just an ordinary friend in your life. If you persist in ignoring him and his calls, he would eventually get the message that you are no longer interested in him the way he is interested in you.

Holding on to the photography is his way of keeping you in his heart. Allow him the indulgence if it would do him any good. It is a stage in life for him. At stage, a lot of young boys and girls get their kicks from staring into the photographs of their friends. This stage would soon fade and he would either throw away the photograph or return it to you.

To insist he gives it to you when he obviously wants to hold on to is to give recognition he no longer has in your life as well as a value on something you can easily afford to ignore.

Your insistence on having that photograph back makes him think he still has powers to force you to do his will which is why he is refusing to give it back to you. He wants to use it as a weapon to negotiate with you or make you have a rethink about the relationship. But if you ignore him and that photograph, he will definitely have a rethink and give it to you without pressures.

By the time you are through with your secondary school and in the university, there will be a lot of young and responsible men to select from. If you fail to make your papers and he makes his, he would shift his attention to another lady who is academically more successful than you. It is the way life works. Success has a way of attracting more friends than failure.

Listen to the words of wisdom from the pastor it is coming because God has better plans for your future.

Good luck.