Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Tales of my love life worry mum…

Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626


Dear Agatha,

I met my man in 2008. But we started dating in 2009, and saw for the first time in August 2010 when he came to Nigeria.

He loves and cares for me.

However, when I informed my pastor about him, I was told that he has a lady back in the United Kingdom who is also interested in him.

According to the pastor, he would pray for the other woman to leave him alone for me if I sow a seed to God. He said he would send me his bank account. I have also never met him but we do discuss on the phone regularly.

My mother is worried because I am 30 years of age.

Worried Spinster.


Dear Worried Spinster,

Be careful. In life when one is in too much haste and too desperate, he or she risks danger of fatal mistake.

Marriage is one institution that should not be hurried into. More often than not we have within us the ability to see clearly into what God wants for us but are blinded by our own desires to do things our own way.

Being 30 years of age isn’t the end of the world. Life has too much to offer anybody as long as the person has the faith that no matter what he or she is passing through is temporary.

Don’t allow your desperation make you become victim to spiritual contractors, who are always seeing one vision or the other to defraud their victims.

There is no way the man you are currently dating would not have a past just as you have a past too. Behind every story of a relationship break up is pocket of regret. One of the parties would always want things to continue the way they are. If he was interested in this other woman, he won’t be with you. There is always a man or woman desiring for someone.

He couldn’t have gone through life without making an impression in the heart of a woman. That there is a woman interested in him is therefore not a strange vision that would warrant a so-called man of God money to dislodge. If he is true to the service of God, he won’t demand money for prayers. The glory of any ministry entrusted to anyone is how many people give happily to its progress.

God isn’t into trade by barter so none of his representatives is allowed to trade with his or her gift. Freely it was given by God and freely it should be used to the glory of His name.

Ignore his demand for any money as condition for his prayers. Sincerely, you don’t need such men of God in your life. Chances are if you do, he would continue to see different visions aimed at frightening you to part with more money.

Instead concentrate on making this man happy, of consolidating his interest in you. Granted other women will always try to get him to notice and be with them, but a lot depends on your attitude and treatment of him.

No matter what you hear, learn to be matured about it. You have no business with any other woman in his life. He remains your interest and concern. Learn to ignore any side talk that has the power to distract you from giving him your best. Don’t nag him about any other woman; learn to be patient, tolerant, friendly, supportive, understanding, prayerful, respectful and loyal to him.

You have to show him that you are not just another woman to him but his friend, sister, mother, and cheerleader.

A lot would depend on how well you manage your personality, temperament and strength of character. If you were the kind of woman easily frightened at the mention of other women in his life, you would completely lose focus of your importance to him just as you would frighten him off you. No man wants a nag for a wife or one who is constantly suspicious of his every move.

The average man wants freedom to be the head at all times. Even when you know he is into other women outside you, learn to keep your cool and market your best at that point in time. You have to constantly remind him that among all the women in his life, you are the only one who has what it takes to make him happy.

Even if you pay this pastor to pray the other woman out of his life, if you don’t have the right kind of character and attitude, other women would still float into his life. How much money do you have to keep this pastor on your payroll to be praying for you every second of your life?

A wise woman in addition to adopting the right kind of attitude never tires of praying to God personally. You are the one in the relationship, have the knowledge of the pains you are enduring as well as the kind of life you have always wanted with your husband.

Go on your knees and ask God to personally intervene on your behalf. As long as God is in your relationship and life, there is no challenge you cannot face and defeat. Sometimes it takes extra time with God and unconditional faith in Him but such situations eventually give way to the desires of God.

Your situation isn’t beyond Him. At 30, you are not old or without hope. Just learn to trust God more and less on the powers of men if you want to be happy in life. If this man is yours, no woman can stop you and him from being together.

Good luck.