Dear Agatha,
I thank God for the understanding he gave which you have been using to help people through their various problems. Since I became
an adult, I have found it very difficult dating girls of my age; rather, I get lots of satisfaction from women who are old enough to be my aunties. Sometimes, I feel ashamed of myself. Please help, as I do not like the way I live my life.
Worried Boy.
Dear Worried Boy,
To get a better understanding of where the problem is coming from, it is important you visit your past because that is where the solution is.
Were you deflowered as a man by an older woman who probably is your aunty or your mother’s friend? If yes, how often did she do it with you and how well did you enjoy the experience?
More often than not, the way we came into adulthood and the person who brought it about remain indelible in our minds. If as a young boy, your early experiences were with women older than you and with better experiences on matters like this, it would be difficult for any young lady to make you happy.
This is because the older women often times, are the ones who ask for it, make themselves available to you, engage you in conversations and bribe your heart as well as your body - things that a younger lady may not have the time and experience to do. This could be one of the reasons you are finding it difficult to approach younger girls.
Changing a set habit is one of the most difficult tasks in the world. If you are addicted to older women, it will take a very strong determination as well as drastic change in your current lifestyle and company to achieve.
First, you must have a clear idea of what you want from life and the kind of woman that would help you to achieve it. Without such a clear vision of what you want, you will continue to find yourself unable to talk to younger women - due to fear of being able to take on responsibilities.
As a young man, make up your mind on what is important to you in life - your future or the pleasure of today? At the end of the day, it is what you want to make of your life that matters.
Having made up your mind about what you want, the rest is easy. All you have to do is to sit down and plan the kind of woman who can give you the kind of support you need in life. In doing this, you must learn to look beyond the appearance of a woman to who she really is inside.
If you learn to focus on the right things, like her temperament, values, dreams, disposition towards you, her willingness to offer the right kind of support and the understanding you need to make the difference, her selflessness to you, finding what to talk about with her won’t be such a difficult thing.
You are unable to talk to a younger lady because you haven’t sat down to marshal your own plans for yourself. It is only when you know where you are going that you can beckon someone to follow you on the journey.
A plan makes it easy for you to answer her questions and ask some very probing questions too with a clear insight to the kind of answers you expect from her. Many a time, couples end up with very wrong perceptions of what they want or that could work for them based on their inability to clearly define the kind of future they want while still dating.
With knowledge comes confidence to surmount any difficulties. Once you are very sure of yourself and believe in your persons and dreams, there is no woman you cannot talk to.
No matter how tough looking or talking a woman is, she will at some point capitulate.
Good luck.
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