Dear Agatha,
Early last year, I got engaged to this lady I have dated for close to six years. Being much older than her, I could easily afford to pay her school fees. And I gladly did that throughout her university education.
Her parents had wanted her to attend a polytechnic due to financial reasons but since I could afford to pay her fees, I encouraged her to go for a university education instead.
We were to marry immediately after her NYSC programme last year but we couldn’t make the Easter date because her elder brother was seriously ill at the time.
It was a protracted one as it later developed into a mental case. Being practically like the breadwinner in the family, I provided most of the funds for his medical bills.
His sickness took us through several processes including that of visiting spiritualists. We finally got a cure in one of these homes and it was here we were told that it was something that would keep recurring in the male children of the family whether these males come from their sons or daughters. According to the spiritualist, it has no antidote and is something they must all go through if they are to live. My father-in-law who happens to be the only surviving child of the family admitted having been told of a similar thing in the past.
Unfortunately for me, my elder sister was with us when the spiritualist said this. As a matter of fact she was the one that took us to the place.
On hearing this, she went straight to our aged parents to tell them that the woman I plan to bring into the family has a curse which would make all their grandchildren by me go mad. Being their eldest son and only surviving son, my parents have forbidden me not to bring this woman home again to them.
My sister didn’t stop at telling them, she has also gone to my girl’s family to warn them to keep their daughter away from me.
There is nothing I have not done to make her change her mind or my parents for that matter but my mother says the day I go back to my girlfriend is the day she would die.
I don’t want my mother to die because she is very precious to me but I also happen to love my girlfriend with my entire heart.
I am in a fix. Our wedding was planned for December but with the way things are, nothing may happen.
My problem is further complicated because she is almost three months pregnant. I really don’t know what to do with my mother and my girlfriend threatening to kill each other if I don’t do things their different ways. This girl is very faithful, honest and has all the qualities I have ever wanted in a woman. She gives me peace and understands me most times more than I do myself. Besides, since she came into my life, I have experienced tremendous progress. Her coming unlocked so many progressive doors for me.
I am so confused and helpless about everything. Much as I love her, I don’t want to have mentally unstable children.
Paul.
Dear Paul,
What is your relationship with God like? Do you belief in Him at all or the fact that there is nothing He cannot do? He is the author of everything, here on Earth and in Heaven. All powers bow to Him. Nothing escapes His knowledge and only allows most things happen to glorify His name in our lives.
We perish due to lack of knowledge and appreciation of who our God is. If you are in the right wavelength with God, you will know without being told that there is no problem under heaven that has no antidote because all powers and weapons used by the kingdom of darkness submit to the names and potency of God, the alpha and omega.
Your mother doesn’t have to die because you desire to marry the woman of your choice. All she has to understand and appreciate is that where God resides, no power of darkness can prevail. Assure your parents that they would have healthy grandchildren, ones they would always be proud of and that whatever powers that hold the family of your girlfriend captive, can be defeated by the mere mention of Jesus Christ.
But for you to convince her, you must have a relationship first with God. You must have an encounter with Him personally to appreciate that there is nothing He cannot do or problem He has no answer to.
First make peace with God by praying to Him and asking to be forgiven of all your sin. There after, recognise and accept Him as your God before asking for Help in your affairs. Entrusting Him with this problem means He would send you to the right persons He has prepared to help you overcome this challenge.
Your solution cannot come from persons who know what the problem is but have no knowledge of what to do. If the spiritualist were that powerful, he or she wouldn’t have dashed your hope of a chance to be happy by telling you this problem has no solution.
This is what happens when one goes to the wrong source for a solution. You end up more confused and with a larger container of issues, which never were before.
If your sister had taken you to a real man of God, not only would the source of the problem be revealed by the spirit of God, but the ways to break whatever covenant entered into by their ancestors.
To have told you it has no cure is to admit to failure in the diagnoses as well as lack of competence to do what he or she is doing.
Competence comes from knowledge and willingness to defend it at all times.
What your woman and her family need is a strong deliverance session. We all come with different foundational problems. Yours may be worse than hers but through the blood of Jesus yokes get broken and freedom given to those whose fate and progress have been imprisoned by certain human beings.
Only a higher power can eject these powers our ancestors or some of us go to unknowingly. In most cases these powers get invited into families out of ignorance. Someone from their past may have done this out of desperation or some wicked people did it to stigmatise them out of envy. Unless God speaks His words of supremacy into the situation, such powers never let go.
If you love this girl as you claim to and the fact that she is already carrying your baby; concern yourself with helping her and her family get out of this spiritual dilemma. This is something you have to do on your own.
Involving your sister or friends could cause more complications, as things said during these deliverance sessions may be amplified to create further mischief for you.
While the deliverance is taking place, enmesh yourself in prayers and fasting to complete the process as well as to get your parents to soften their hard-line posture.
Because of the forces involved, you cannot win this battle on your own or rely on physical wisdom. The forces too could come from your own side; a force determined to deny you joy and peace with the woman God has ordained for you.
These forces also know with her by your side, the sky is just your starting point hence are determined to use whatever forces abide in her side of the family to force you into leaving her so that they can effectively lock all the doors her peculiar luck seems to have opened for you.
For this reason, you must be extremely careful you don’t end up losing more than the woman.
It takes more than mere proclamation for true love to happen. Love is about selflessness and belief in that special thing which is not seen but felt deep in the heart.
What is the character of your love for this girl? Love takes more than physical investment to giving of that thing which is priceless to you. Had you married her before the medical condition of her brother became manifest, would you or your family have asked her to go? Would you have divorced her on account of you not wanting your children to inherit the same spiritual problem?
Now that she is pregnant, what happens to that child? Would your family insist on rejecting the baby as well as its mother?
For you to be the only surviving son of your family also shows yours isn’t a family without spiritual challenges which if investigated by ordained men of God could be worse than the one this girl and her family are being prosecuted for by your family.
Since your sister seem to have a lot of influence over your parents, still go to her and plead with her to understand your situation especially against the background of the coming baby. Let her know once again the many positive changes the presence of this girl has brought into your life and how sad you would be if she leaves.
Also let her know that you have no intentions of aborting the child and if children between you are what they are trying to prevent, it is already too late.
This is the time you must make your stand known on how much this girl means to you. To sit on the fence is to cause yourself a lot of damage and harm.
Just learn to trust God. It is all you need to be happy.
Good luck.
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