Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Head Must Roll...My Twin Sisters Pregnant For My Husband


Dear Agatha,


I urgently need your God given wisdom to tackle this life threatening situation that has enveloped my home for which I think somebody has to die now but I have not decided who among those who have caused me this pain should.

As a matter of fact, I have packed my bags and ready to leave my matrimonial home, but not until someone pays dearly for the huge ache crying for revenge inside of me.

My father died when my siblings and I were still young and in the secondary school. Our mom, however, made sure she saw us through school. We have a set of twins who refused to further their education after their secondary school. All efforts to persuade them to go further in their educational pursuit proved abortive. They opted for business so, we let them be.

When I met my husband, it was like a dream come true. My mother instantly took to him, so also did my siblings. We got married and being the eldest girl of the house, I asked my husband to help set up my sisters and he agreed. We brought them to stay with us and he opened a boutique shop for them.

I have been married for five years now, I had my first baby after one year of marriage and the second one, boy, after two years and everything was going well for me and everyone around me. My husband suggested that I further my studies, so I enrolled into one of the universities.

One day my brother visited and informed me that my twin sisters were having affairs with my husband. I was shocked, and with sheer disbelief. Even though I didn't believe him at the same time, I didn't think he would deliberately set out to break my home so I decided to carry out an investigation of my own before confronting my husband with the allegation.

I noticed he was keeping late nights but always attribute it to the desire to grow his business.

Finally, one day, my twin sisters came home with strong eyes to announce that they are both pregnant for my husband. They didn't show any remorse and were very arrogant about it. To cap it all, when my husband came home, he confirmed it. He said I was at liberty to do what I liked, and that the choice of staying on in his house is mine to make.

The issue now is, Agatha, how can I share my husband with my sisters? Were they total strangers, maybe, but my own sisters? What can I do about this? Right now I am totally confused, and hurting deep inside of me.

Broken Woman.




Dear Broken Woman,

I am equally as perplexed as you are because I don't know what to say to you in this kind of situation. Having two sisters pregnant for your husband at the same time is more than one can tolerate but then killing any of them won't solve the problem.

It would only complicate the already precarious situation you have found yourself in this marriage. Besides, your children would be the ones that get to suffer the most at the end of the day when you are arrested, remanded in prison custody. Whatever your state of mind as well as the extent of betrayal by your own sisters, don't allow them drag you into the same murky water they obviously cherish to swim in.

They are not worth your time or energy. Any woman who stoops to the all time low of sleeping with the man that belongs to her sister and getting pregnant for him in the process isn't worth spending precious time on fighting. Your twin sisters are already cursed beyond remedy. That the two of them can sleep with the same man, get pregnant for him is enough curse not to talk of the man being the husband of their own elder sister.

Sincerely, this battle is beyond you or what you see. It is a battle your temper cannot win or physical strength. It is also a battle that goes back, in time, to when you were all born. It is targeted at destroying your family and ensuring your remaining parent doesn't go to her grave in peace and happiness.

Do you know what your mother would be feeling now? The mockery of her situation as well as the pains of her old age? Having all the three daughters who are sleeping with one man, and all having children by him?

This I assure you isn't a normal situation. It is unfortunate that you are the one who is at the centre of it all. Even if your husband is the worst kind of Casanova, he wouldn't dream of sleeping with your sisters and getting them pregnant as well as calling you bluff at being discovered in such a disgraceful act. A normal man would not be ashamed of what he has done but do everything humanly possible to shield his wife from knowing about his despicable act.

For him to have allowed you the knowledge of his act and giving you the choice to stay while your twin sisters carry on with their pregnancies is very abnormal and certainly underlines the presence of something fundamental.

Despite what he has done, he is still your husband and father of your two children. From what you have said, he has been very good to you and has been very supportive of your family. Nothing of what you have described of him so far tallies with what he has done. This is the major challenge here, the major quiz. Men have all kinds of reasons to go outside their homes to have affairs but to have affairs with two of his sisters-in-law, get them pregnant and feel comfortable with it, is abnormal and one you should be careful in reacting to.

This is a complex situation that requires a strong and determined mind to resolve. Your twin sisters, as vile as their act portrays them, are nothing but prawns in the hands of some forces within your family circle. Killing them would only make the forces happier and stronger in their goals of bringing pains and tears to your eyes.

From your story, you seem to be the lucky one in the family, hence the one who must stand firm and tall in this fight. For now, for the obvious reason that you are still in a state of shock and prone to decisions which may be inimical to your rationality, there may be the need for you to move out temporarily to a place where you can pray and reason objectively. You could move in with your parents-in-law as a show of your intent to still keep to your marital vows.

While at the place of your parents-in-law, try to reflect on your inadequacies too. Though, he has no excuse for what he did, but it would help the process of settlement if you also admit to your mistake. You may not see the need for it, given the gravity of what your husband has done but it would help you realise that we are all fallible. Sometimes, the little unimportant things we do end up being our greatest undoing. This exercise in self appraisal would mellow down your feelings sufficiently to make you seek the help of God through prayers.

On your own, pray and fast to God to help you. Only His light can unveil what darkness has hidden in your lives. Marriage is about painful choices and sacrifices. Your love for this man as well as your home must be unconditional to be able to move your marriage out of this abyss. Sincerely for now, you don't have any issue with those sisters of yours until after you deliver your man from the invisible powers that have arrested him. Let God Himself direct how to progress from your present position. Listen to His voice only and go to where He tells you to go, because whether you like it or not, this is an issue for only the person He has anointed for you to handle.

And frankly until you involve God in this matter, your sisters would continue to be a huge embarrassment and pains to your marriage. And because of the sensitivity of the issue involved, this is the time for silence on your part else you open your home, life and those of your innocent children to wrong advices or evil manipulations. Transfer all your problems to God. For your twin sisters to come to your house without fear to inform you that they are both pregnant for your husband shows that they are beyond reason or care and, like you, are capable of doing anything; another strong evidence that this is beyond logical reasoning.

Don't be a fool by staying inside a hot boiling water to fight the fire at the bottom of the pot. You would need to get out of the pot first to put out the fire else you risk death. So don't be stubborn by refusing to leave, at least, for now.

Go to your mother only after you have strengthened yourself with the spirit of God. Don't go with the aim of fighting her or making her feel worse than she already is by nagging her at the damage her children have done to you. Rather, your mission should be to help her get to the bottom of the issues affecting her family, which she may not have even realised.

Opening her eyes to it would help her recall certain issues or incidents that happened in the past which she might have forgotten but could be the key to destroying the unseen web that has been woven around your family. She too has to be involved in the process of deliverance. Importantly, you must be ready to forgive completely for the process of deliverance to be a complete one.

Being natural sinners, we have done and said a lot of things we shouldn't have said or done. Because your rivals are not outsiders but members of your own family, the blood you see when you scratch the skin too hard may be a child's play compared to the likely avalanche of horror threatening to pour if you fail to handle this issue with absolute maturity.

Weird as this may be, be consoled by the fact that somewhere in the time past or now, it has happened before and would happen again, as long as we have human beings behaving wickedly.

As for your twin sisters and their pregnancies, don't worry about them too much. Though difficult to do but once you make peace with God and give Him absolute permission over your life, a natural solution to their problem would come from Him without you raising a finger or demanding it of them or your husband. God only needs your faith and trust to move. Give these to Him and all these would become stories later in your life. Provided you think your marriage would work, it will no matter the ominous clouds that currently hang over it.

Good luck.