Tuesday, March 23, 2010

My Medical Study Hangs For Switching To Christianity


Dear Agatha, 

I am so happy that I have at last summoned courage to send you this e-mail. I am a medical student in one of the Northern based universities in Nigeria.

The problem I am about to share started while in secondary school, when I developed interest in Christianity. This was despite being from a very strict Islamic family with a father who wasn’t only an Islamic teacher, but also a very fanatical one ready to do anything in the interest of his religion. 

I sometimes sneaked to church when he wasn’t around or the coast sufficiently clear enough for me. 

Somehow he found out and I instantly became his number one enemy so much so he threatened to stop me from going to school and marrying me off to a man his age. 

Shortly after he found out the particular church I was sneaking to for service, it was gutted by a mysterious fire said to be an accident, yet I know who must have sent people to set the place ablaze. 

During my brief interactions with Christians, I leant something important: prayer is the key to solving all problems. 

Agatha, right now I’m so scared. I have come to cherish the freedom of Christianity where I really want to be. 

I have begged my father to allow me complete my programme, but he has given the condition that he would only agree to my request if I denounce my new faith and return to Islam.  He called me a disgrace to the family. Although I don’t want to go back, I have dreamt of becoming a surgeon. 

I am so confused. Do I commit suicide? Would I go to heaven if I take my own life? I need help, advice and encouragement from real Christians. Is this what it takes to became a Christian-so much suffering and emotional torture? I might not have the chance to read your advice on your page, that is why I am giving my number, 07055657904 and email alayuaminna@yahoo.com, just for your prayers because the pressure is to much on me now.           

I decided to share my own story and problem with you after I read about one Mr. Abdul sometime last year. I called him; he sounded so happy as told me his new life in Christianity is the best now. He told me to be strong that God will see me through. He also told me about who helped him. Beg I want to join the Christian family because that is where my heart belongs.

Amina.


Dear Amina, 

Suicide isn’t an option at all. As a matter of fact, it is counted as a sin by the laws of God and man. Under the law, it is counted as murder. You would be regarded by God and man for killing having murdered yourself. You didn’t create your life, hence has no right to terminate it. The decision to end one’s life is the decision of God, not yours. 

According to the Bible, when one takes his or her own life, he or she is intended for hell. Blood is very precious to God and taking it amounts to wasting a life God intended for something great and precious. 

Besides, only cowards take the easy way out by contemplating suicide. For you to have taken such a fundamental decision, it shows you are not a coward so don’t allow the reactions of anyone drive you into an option that would make you suffer the more in the world after. 

Being a medical student, you more than anyone else knows how precious blood is, so don’t be tempted to spill yours, no matter the provocation. 

It is the devil trying to fight back, you see things from this negative point of view to end the bright future God has in store for you. It is also to make your father and family put blames where they shouldn’t. Christianity isn’t a violent religion and would never support termination of one’s life as a panacea to any problem whatsoever. I am sure theQuran too doesn’t support suicide. 

In your interest as well as all those who love you, perish the thought immediately to end the temptation of wanting to do it. 

One basic and very important fact you must know about life is that every change comes with its own sets of challenges. While we all desire changes, it is one of the hardest things to accept. There is no change that comes without some forms of discomforts, sacrifices and conflicts. If you are fair to your father, in his’ shoes, you will definitely resist this kind of change you are trying to introduce into the family because it runs contrary to everything he is familiar with as well as he has known all his life. For this reason, you must apply a measure of wisdom because Christianity itself is anchored on wisdom, which is why Solomon remains the greatest King that lived. The book of Proverbs underscores the place of Wisdom in all that we do. 

Because you are trying to introduce something completely alien to his world as well as those of your family members, tread carefully. You have to find a way of courting his friendship and trust to have the required peace to practise your new religion. The Bible tells us to always honour our parents so that our days on earth can be long and fulfilled. This man remains your father, the authority God has placed you in his care. Until now, he was a good father to you so resist every attempt to be rude to him. Doing so will only antagonise you from Him, make you his enemy and deprive you of your rights in his hands. Your right is to be educated by him so don’t overtly aggravate the situation; sometimes it pays to play the fool for a greater goal. You are in your last year in the medical school; stopping now would make nonsense of all your efforts to get to your life-long goal of being a surgeon. It is what makes you unique, dream, hence the need to protect it with wisdom. 

Also being a girl, there is little you can do to withstand the combined force of your family who if pushed into a very tight corner by you may be forced to carry out their threat of marrying you off to this old man. Be realistic enough to know that culturally, your being a woman in such a hostile environment may not give you too many choices for now, so learn to be patient and tolerant of the reactions of your father and family. God may be using this period to prepare you for the tasks ahead because without sharpening yourself in the virtues of patience and tolerance, you may not last long in the new faith. There is no good process in life that doesn’t come with sacrifices. Do whatever you have to do to make him complete payment of your education as well as stop him from marrying you off. By the time you write your final examination, you are free to do what you like, because you would have the academic empowerment to be self-sufficient. 

Often than not, what we profess isn’t what makes us who we say we are; instead it is by the way we behave and respond to others. 

Religious is often a thing of the heart; a personal covenant between you and the God you serve. It doesn’t allow a third party interference because without you first encountering the God you serve in an awesome way, you will only be telling the story from another person’s point of view. Always have it at the back of your mind that you can effect a positive change in your family by your own attitude and firm control of your temperament. You must showcase at all times the quality and tenets of your new religion, respect and peace.

To have the right frame of mind to withstand the challenges of your decision, there is the need for you to examine your knowledge of the 

God you now serve. How much and well do you know him? Do you think He sees and knows everything happening to you and that He also has the authority and power to make things happen your way?

How far are you determined to trust Him and go with Him?

These are the things that will help you properly to situate your situation as well as point you at the right direction to go. 

The first place to begin is to pray and personally ask for His help. In doing this, be specific in your request. Ask God who authored the world and everything in it, including your father, to step into your home, the heart of your father to make this journey easy for you. 

I am sure like Abdul, you will get all the encouragement, support and advice you need to move on in your new faith. God remains your greatest anchor; so don’t ever stray from His side; no matter the challenges, pains and frustrations. 

Good luck. 

I’m Ignorant Of Free Days After Ovulation Period


Dear Agatha,

I’m always impressed with the manner you respond to issues. May God continue to strengthen you for the good job you are doing through this medium. 

I am tall, fair and handsome, and I am convinced love should not be forced rather should come naturally. But what I see is people being forced into relationships they don’t want by their families or associates. Please I want to understand why one should persuade or coarse someone into a relationship when it is obvious that person isn’t interested in that particular relationship? Again, does sex strengthen a relationship? How come the ladies are now the ones demanding for it?

Jeffery.


Dear Jeffery, 

People force people into relationships simply for selfish purposes. It is either they are protecting a business empire, family interests or personal reasons. The danger of such pressurised marriages is usually the inability of the couple to run their affairs without interferences from the powers that brought them together. Because these relationships lack the right kind of foundation to flourish, the couples end up going their separate ways due to irreconcilable differences. This is why it isn’t advisable for anybody to yield to pressures to an arranged marriage. 

People should be allowed to make their choices of spouses if the marriage institution is to remain as solid as God intended it to be. Couples given the freedom to make their choices are better able to manage challenges on account of the love and friendship that brought them together in the first place. 

Sex within marriage actually strengthens a relationship because it is the greatest gift of intimacy God bequeathed a married couple. Sex in marriage isn’t just for the purpose of procreation, it goes beyond that. The way God created sex for a married couple is to help build an emotional bank of trust, friendship, loyalty, communication, responsibility, respect and leisure between two perfect strangers coming together to begin a life together. 

God didn’t mean it to be cheap like the way some persons currently view it. Within marriage, sex has unlimited roles whereas in a platonic relationship, it weakens because it comes cheap. This is why unmarried couple should do everything to avoid premarital sex because it lacks the bonding qualities of a married one.

Any unmarried woman who goes about demanding sex from her boyfriend is unmindful of the kind of image she is projecting for herself, because at the end no man would have the confidence to keep such a woman in his house as wife. Despite the level of moral bankruptcy in the society, a lot of men still prefer to be with a woman who knows how to say no to sex before marriage. 

While most men applaud a young girls who demands for sex as being enlightened, but when it comes to the woman they want to spend the rest of their lives with, they still tilt towards the tradition that says a good woman, one with moral values do not capitulate to a man until she becomes his wife. In marriage both can make demands on each other as often as they feel, but before then, moral value cautions a woman against it, because she ends up being the hurt party at the end of the day.

Good luck. 

Any Merit For Sex In Relationship?


Dear Agatha,

I’m always impressed with the manner you respond to issues. May God continue to strengthen you for the good job you are doing through this medium. I am tall, fair and handsome, and I am convinced love should not be forced rather should come naturally. But what I see is people being forced into relationships they don’t want by their families or associates. Please I want to understand why one should persuade or coarse someone into a relationship when it is obvious that person isn’t interested in that particular relationship? Again, does sex strengthen a relationship? How come the ladies are now the ones demanding for it?

Jeffery.


Dear Jeffery, 

People force people into relationships simply for selfish purposes. It is either they are protecting a business empire, family interests or personal reasons. 

The danger of such pressurised marriages is usually the inability of the couple to run their affairs without interferences from the powers that brought them together. Because these relationships lack the right kind of foundation to flourish, the couples end up going their separate ways due to irreconcilable differences. This is why it isn’t advisable for anybody to yield to pressures to an arranged marriage. Good luck. 

People should be allowed to make their choices of spouses if the marriage institution is to remain as solid as God intended it to be. Couples given the freedom to make their choices are better able to manage challenges on account of the love and friendship that brought them together in the first place. 

Sex within marriage actually strengthens a relationship because it is the greatest gift of intimacy God bequeathed a married couple. Sex in marriage isn’t just for the purpose of procreation, it goes beyond that. The way God created sex for a married couple is to help build an emotional bank of trust, friendship, loyalty, communication, responsibility, respect and leisure between two perfect strangers coming together to begin a life together. 

God didn’t mean it to be cheap like the way some persons currently view it. Within marriage, sex has unlimited roles whereas in a platonic relationship, it weakens because it comes cheap. 

This is why unmarried couple should do everything to avoid premarital sex because it lacks the bonding qualities of a married one.

Any unmarried woman who goes about demanding sex from her boyfriend is unmindful of the kind of image she is projecting for herself, because at the end no man would have the confidence to keep such a woman in his house as wife. Despite the level of moral bankruptcy in the society, a lot of men still prefer to be with a woman who knows how to say no to sex before marriage. 

While most men applaud a young girls who demands for sex as being enlightened, but when it comes to the woman they want to spend the rest of their lives with, they still tilt towards the tradition that says a good woman, one with moral values do not capitulate to a man until she becomes his wife. In marriage both can make demands on each other as often as they feel, but before then, moral value cautions a woman against it, because she ends up being the hurt party at the end of the day.