Dear Agatha,
Please I need your help in my love life. Although my woman is not complaining, yet I don’t want to wait for her before doing something about the situation. Besides, I can perceive she isn’t happy with me.
Anytime I made love with her, I ejaculate within two minutes. Thereafter, it becomes a problem to get my manhood up again.
Sincerely, it is eating me up and very afraid of its consequences on our relationship. I don’t want to lose her. Please tell me what to do.
Anxious Man.
Dear Anxious Man,Have you always been like this or is it a recent development? If recent when did it start? How old are you? Is she your first experience?
Chances are if she is your first experience at lovemaking you may not have mastered the act of self-control to a stage where you can withhold orgasm for a while.
If this is the case, you will need the help of your woman as well as determination to stop yourself from having early ejaculations. The point is not to attempt a full achievement at one go rather your current time of two minutes can be extended to three and upwards in subsequent attempts. It is easier to hold back for a minute at the beginning of your self-training than to go for five minutes at once.
Another possible reason is masturbation. Chances are if you have always enjoyed and engaged in the act, you may have schooled your body to climax at a particular time after you achieve full erection.
Should this be the case, the problem has to do with how you have trained your body sexual endurance. It means you must begin all over again by learning how to make love with the pleasure of a woman in mind. This entails explaining your problem and the reason for it to your woman and engaging her help and understanding to get you off the habit.
While masturbation may have its fulfilling moments in the sexual life of an individual, the side effects are more likely to cause major problems later in life in a person’s drive to be happy with his or her partner. It may deprive a man, in particular, of his inability to enjoy full and satisfying sex with his woman.
Even in the best of situations, a man has to be very imaginative to be able to satisfy the average woman given that it takes more efforts on the part of a man to be able to get a woman to her optimum performance. A woman’s body is structured to have more stimulations than that of the man whose stimulations are often energised by his sights and imaginations. An average woman requires physical stimulation to be ready.
Next time you and your woman are making love, to help get her over the disappointment of your early orgasm, prepare her adequately through foreplay. Encourage her to take the lead as well as tell you her preferences. By enlisting her help from beginning gives her control of the situation as well as stimulate her desire to help make the act comfortable for you too. Only go into her when she is almost there so her time and your time would rhyme. This would stop the complaint from coming and give you plenty of time to adjust your ready time.
It would also address the issue of you losing her to someone else due to the advantage foreplay between couples have on their overall relationship. By turning your disadvantage to advantage, it would keep your relationship from falling flat on all account in the sense foreplay encourages couples to discuss their preferences. Such development is healthy for the relationship.
If all these are eliminated, chances are you may not be in the right psychological frame of mind to make love to a woman.
In most cases, once these conditions are removed the man would restore to his full strength.
However, if the problem is deeper and has been the norm, you may have to visit the doctor for proper medical examinations to pinpoint whatever the problem could be.
A perfect solution can only come from knowing how it all started. Do you drink or smoke? Are you having problems at the office, business or other related problems?
Whatever the problems are, try to keep them under check else you risk losing your woman. Most times, discussing your problems with one’s partner reduces the severity of the issue. This is the essence of having someone by your side, someone to share in your dreams as well as someone to cheer you up when the colours don’t look too bright.
The real challenge before you now is to ensure this woman by your side understands that you require her help in getting over this problem. Knowing that you consider her important enough in this matter would make her stay to fight on your side.
You also have to make the relationship attractive for her in other ways by being her best friend in all the other areas. Once she can trust you, know that she is a powerful force in your life, put her interest outside the inside and outside the bedroom first, and she would stay.
Another thing you must avoid and which could further cause problems for you is worry needlessly about what is happening to you. Some percentage of what you are currently facing may have its root on your constant worrying of it. Yes, you should worry but not to the point of habouring fear in your heart anytime you want to make love with your woman.
Sincerely, this in itself declines your performance. You must at all times have the boldness to face whatever issue without giving it power to submerge you.
Good luck.
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