I need tall Nigerian as husband…

Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626

Dear Agatha,

May the good Lord continue to bless you and your household as He uses you to give hope to those that have troubled relationships as well as others like us that are experiencing heartbrokenness.
You are the only reason I visit nigeriaworld.com just to read your columns.
I’m a 30-year-old single mother of a two and a half year old boy, has never been married.
My major problem in life is that I have been unlucky in my relationships. I have never been able to secure the true love of a man.

I have lived in a foreign land for 10 years. Since coming to my host country I have never liked dating men who aren’t Nigerians. I ended the relationship I was into before coming here because the man was dating other girls. He didn’t bother to hide this fact from me when I phoned to demand explanations. His parents actually told me to move on with my life. Years after he hasn’t repented.

Leaving him forced me back into the relationship market, but hasn’t been lucky to get my true idea of a Nigerian man preferably from South-East or South-South.
Unfortunately all the kinds of men that have indicated interest in dating and marrying me, though blacks but are not foreigners.
Five years ago I met a fellow Nigerian who resides as me in Europe. We started a relationship that led to our becoming live-in lovers. Sadly, barely four months into our relationship we had fallen out of love, but we continued to live together. Along the way, I got pregnant.

To be truthful, it wasn’t a mistake because he wanted a baby desperately being 13 years older than I am. Agatha, can you imagine that after we both decided to keep the pregnancy, he suddenly remembered his ex-girlfriend back in Nigeria, same girl he condemned and vowed never to have anything to do with just to deceive me. Today they are married.
I had no choice but to break up the relationship and move on with my life. I was three months pregnant.
Since then I’ve been single. The environment I live is not helping the situation. There are very few Nigerian men here. The few around here were sponsored to this country by successful prostitutes, who lavish so much money on them.
My request from you now is whether there is anyway you can help me to meet any decent, responsible, independent, matured, loving and caring man? He should be between 31 to 42 years of age. Being tall will be a huge plus, because I like tall guys.

I’ll appreciate it if you can help me find my soul mate I’m so lonely and want to love and be loved again. Interested Nigerian man can get in touch with me through this e-mail address: ismalife004@yahoo.com.

May God fill you with more wisdom and knowledge.
A.

Dear A,

If you have spent 10 years in your host country searching for a Nigerian man with no positive results to show for it, isn’t it time you reconsidered your position? Has it ever occurred to you that you may not have been destined to marry a Nigerian man?

Have you stopped to wonder why no relationship you go into with a Nigerian man is working? Have you wondered if this is God’s way of telling you, a Nigerian man will not favour you?

That you are Nigerian doesn’t mean you must marry a Nigerian man. True love is innocent of creed, tribe, colour or nationality for that matter. Love can happen in anywhere and true love comes in packages we least expect.

As a woman, you don’t have all the time in the world. What should be of concern to you is your happiness and contentment in your marriage. Rather than focusing on the nationality of your would be husband, you should concentrate on the character of the man himself.

Patriotism has no place in marriage. While it is good to be patriotic, but when it comes to marriage love reigns supreme. What is most important is that you have a soul mate, one whose love for you is unconditional and respectful. Would you rather be lied to, deceived and hurt by a man simply because he comes from Nigeria or loved by a foreigner?

Stop hurting yourself unnecessarily before it’s too late. Remember you are today a single mother because you desired a Nigerian man who at the end of the day lied to you.

Good wisdom demands a change of tactics when a particular approach to an issue is constantly failing. Open your heart to one of those men you tagged foreigners. One of them may be your Adam; the one God paired you with from heaven. There is nothing as satisfying for a man or woman like finding a true soul mate, one who is a true friend, who is forever looking out for only the good sides of the person, one who never tires of giving unconditional support.

Requesting I find a Nigerian man for you will only expose you to more emotional turmoil. Being abroad, you are prone to be used as a meal ticket by most men down here. You will only end up hurting yourself more than you have been hurt already.

You can only give your child emotional stability if you are happy in your relationship. Any wrong choice and you will be a very resentful and unhappy mother to this child. For the sake of your child be careful of the mind and quality of the person you bring into your lives. Don’t do something you will end up regretting later in life.

Rather than concentrate so much effort on looking for a Nigerian man, why not concentrate on the qualities you will live with in a man? Look for a considerate man, one who has the patience to handle and love another man’s child, who will not see you as his passport to affluence, who will give you all the support to be happy, who is sincere, respectful and man enough to handle the challenge of living with a woman. These are the qualities that indelible cosmopolitan that provides the visa to the world of happiness.

Any man coming to your life must help provide the right leadership for your son to emulate. You don’t want to bring a man into your life; you will be husband to.

Open your heart to love freely. Don’t put restrictions God hasn’t imposed on you on your heart and destiny. These things are not disappointments but God’s way of nudging you to the right direction. What is of essence is for you to be happy in your marriage. Give God the chance to make you absolutely happy and contented in life.

Good Luck.