I’m not bold enough to woo girl…

Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626


Dear Agatha,

I am an ardent reader of your column and I really like the way you help people. Now I need your help, please. I am a young guy of 19 years of age. I have the problem of lack of self-confidence, especially when it comes to wooing a girl. I can talk to girls, especially girls I don’t have much interest in, but when it comes to meeting a girl I really like, I wouldn’t know how to woo her. It’s really becoming a big problem for me. Please help me.

Worried Boy.


Dear Worried Boy,

When talking to your female friends, you are not tensed or anxious to make an impression. You are able to act normally, not minding your mistakes because you don’t have anything at stake at all with these women.

On the other hand your desire to impress and gain the acceptance of any woman you are interested in makes it difficult for you to relax in her company.

When next you meet any woman you are interested in relax and pretend you are talking to a friend. Refuse to be intimidated by the prospect of her denying you or laughing at your mistakes. The fact of life is no man is an Island. We all learn through our mistakes and if you don’t make a mistake along life’s many bumpy turns, there is no way you would be able to gather the needed experiences to help others in their times of need.

Any woman you are trying too much to impress isn’t worth it. Chances are she would leave at the end of the day when she discovers that all you did to get her were done just for the purpose of impressing her.

At 19 you are very young and full of ideas on how to impress a woman. Usually things don’t work that way. Always have it at the back of your mind when seeking friendship from any woman that you aren’t doing something new. From time immemorial men have performed the same ritual. There is no big deal approaching a woman for a relationship. It is a simple case of either turning you down or accepting. If she says no to you, it is because you both aren’t designed to have a relationship and not due to any inadequacy you suffer as a man.

The cold fact of life is not every woman a man approaches for a relationship would agrees to it. Women have different reasons for turning a man down. From the reasonable to the most ridiculous: a woman would always give a reason to back up her decision to accept or to reject. That one woman turned you down doesn’t mean another woman won’t jump at the opportunity of being your date. Dating is a matter of personal choice.

When next you meet a young lady you are interested in don’t make the general mistake most men make by telling her you love her. Reasonable women find such a declaration insulting and equally portray the man as a liar. You cannot fall in love with a face; love is a more serious matter of knowing the character and person behind the face.

Stick to the truth of telling her that you find her person attractive and would appreciate if she becomes your friend. This tells her you are serious minded, honest and not after her body. It also tells her you are interested in her person and mind.

Being friends offers you the opportunity of really getting close to her, knowing who she is as well as the other side of her that is not visible from observing her facial expressions.

Life is about confidence building. If you don’t have it, nobody can give it to you. As a man, don’t ever allow any situation or woman to erode your beliefs in yourself, no matter the situation. Approaching a woman isn’t a do or die affair. There would always be moments of loss and gain.

Don’t worry as you grow older you will discover this basic fact. What you are experiencing goes with your age.

Good luck.