Friday, May 22, 2009

She Duped Me Of All I Had, Bolted Without Trace


Dear Agatha,


I am in my late 20s. At best I can describe my life as a live in hell since I lost my parents.

As a result of my simple nature, a lot of people around me including members of my family are beginning to mistake my simplicity for stupidity.

Agatha, can you believe that the one woman I trusted the most, the one I planned to spend the rest of my life with, who knows everything no other person knows about me, defrauded me of the only possession left for me by my brother out of our father’s property, the only thing that gives me income to continue my education and keep body and soul together?

I am so ashamed to mention it here because no member of my family is aware of what I have done.

The tragedy of my situation is that I come from a family where every person is on his or her own. My undoing was to have trusted her with the secret and document of the business I inherited from my father due to my love for her.

While we were dating, she took me to meet a woman in a remote village in Ondo State whom she introduced as her mother. When I went back to look for my girlfriend and the woman, I was told they didn’t know anybody by the name or description there. She seems to have completely vanished into thin air.

I couldn’t believe what was happening. It appeared like a scene from a fictional tale. In retrospect I think she must have used a spell on me because I told her things I have never told anyone, shown her secrets about me no one else knew. I was really in love with her. As a result of her betrayal, I have stopped my part-time programme for lack of finance. I have taken to menial jobs to survive the hard times I plunged myself because of my sheer carelessness.

Three weeks after she left, she wrote a letter explaining why she did what she has done. She said since it was the culture of the Ibos never to marry outside their people, she would send me the money she took when she makes it.

Being a Christian and one who fears God, I can’t curse her or go to a native doctor to avenge what she did.

Agatha, is it a crime to desire inter-tribal marriage? Why did she do that to me? The worst is that my friends warned me of her sincerity but I thought they were merely jealous.

I’m writing you for help because of a childhood friend who promised to help me in January this year. As a matter fact, he introduced me to this column. He says he reads it everyday online.

I can’t reach him anymore through his cell phone and since I don’t have a phone then he too can’t even reach me.

Please, Agatha I need your help to contact him. I want to know if he still interested in helping or to forget all about it. I am so frustrated and can’t continue like this anymore.

I want him to please contact me through this e-mail address: robbertuzoorji@yahoo.com

I don’t know how to beg him anymore. I wish I wasn’t so stupid to trust when I knew next to nothing about her. My mistake was falling in love with someone I felt something very special for. I thought her claim of love was genuine. Not once did I think she was after my money.

From my experience, I just want to warn everyman out there to be careful because not all that glitters is gold. Most ladies are simply out for the money they can get from men. Obsessed in their greediness, they forget nothing lasts forever, and that punishment waits at the end.

Robert.


Dear Robert,

I really sympathise with you and hope your friend gets to read this.

It is unfortunate you lost everything to love and trust. If this is any encouragement, a lot of men before you have suffered the same fate but are today better and happier in other relationships.

The good, the bad, and the ugly people the world. Life always has a flipside. Only those who are fortunate experience the ugly side of life in the beginning, when they have all the time in the world to learn and make necessary adjustments for a happier ending.

Your story may present itself now as a nightmare to you but what this woman has done in the long run is simply to give you the strength to be stronger and be more focused in life. Without her bitter pill, you may never have what it takes to go the extra mile, think deeper and access your ultimate strength as a human being. In life, the best can only be purchased when we go deeper into our inner reserve to drag out the genius lurking inside of us. Behind many of the great stories and successes we all admire are countless number of failures, disappointments, despairs, pains, mockeries and abject poverty. It takes a determined mind to make the difference in life.

What she has done is simply to help you look beyond your inheritance to your own abilities as a human being. It is only expected that you go through period of discomfort to get to your promised land. An expectant mother knows that to get to her new baby, she has to experience and endure the excruciating pains of labour.

Don’t allow your experience with her limit you or make you resentful of everywoman who comes your way because just as one woman is capable of destroying a man, another has been placed to uplift him beyond measure. If you refuse to let go, refuse to forgive what you now think is your mistake, it might be difficult for you to love again or give another woman the chance to heal you the way you deserve to be healed.

What you should do is to learn to take each day at a time. Love can be intoxicating but can be managed just as effectively. Learn to trust with just a little bit, your smile before you can trust with friendship. When a woman is able to make you smile effortlessly, continue to make you smile when you are moody, has the tolerance to understand your moods and willing to stay when you are not saying anything to her, still has the caring smile on her face when you are unbearable, then you can trust her with your friendship.

True love is without creed, colour, gender and tribe. It is pure. There is no harm in loving someone outside your state. She is only using the excuse of tribe to mask her true nature. What she did is inborn in her and has nothing to do with where she comes from or where you are from. Again don’t allow yourself to be sucked into her nasty nature by refusing the love of any woman who may not be your tribe. To do that would be handing over to her and your past, the power to perpetually hurt you.

God works in ways we don’t see. He knows you can survive without that money, hence allowed her to take the money to enable you enter into His covenant for you. Being a Christian should make this time easy for you; make you appreciate that it takes nothing for God to make something out of it.

God wants to take the glory for your life so surrender to Him and allow His will come through in your life.

What you should do is to seek the face of God. If He hasn’t destined this friend to help you, there is nothing you or he can do. But when you first seek His face before sourcing for help, things would be a lot easier for you as He would have paved the way for your success and breakthrough.

As for the lady, your approach is commendable. It is always best to leave the fight for God. When He fights, there is usually no appeal. Don’t get discouraged by all that have happened to you or question the Will of God for you. Everything He does is always perfect.

Good luck.

Lonely Hearts


Dear Agatha,

I am 26, a virgin, and lives in Lagos. I want a girlfriend who would end up as my wife. The lady who should be between 18 and 26 must be God fearing, educated, trustful and religious.

Any interested lady should sms only to 07055118379 or 07040671234


Dear Agatha,

I am 41, single, tall, energetic, from Edo State based in Lagos. I am a businessman who desires a matured, financially independent lady who is ready to settle down as soon as possible. Tribe and age is not an issue as long as she is loving, respectful, serious minded, kind and caring. I promise to spoil the woman of my dream with love.

Interested woman should call or text me on this number, 07059289199. Please, no beeping.