My Balloon Boobs Mock Me, Dream Man Too

Dear Agatha,

I am endowed with very big breasts, and I am ashamed of this mountainous chest. My boyfriend is also uncomfortable with the size of my breasts. What do I do to reduce them and be free from the burden of going about with extra large cups? Please help me out?

Jane.

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Dear Jane,

The only help I know is to encourage you to be proud of who you are and what God has given you. Your boyfriend has no reason to complain or be uncomfortable about your size of breasts because he saw them before wooing you. To now turn around to complain about such obvious thing is simply looking for an excuse to end the relationship.

If he wants to go, let him go but don't allow him or anybody take away your self-esteem. It is important you keep it intact because that is the only way to be happy with yourself.

Of course, you have the option of going through surgery but how far that goes in making you happy depends on your own understanding and acceptability of what happiness means.

You could decide to go through the surgeon's knife and end up a psychological wreck because you might not be happy with the new you.

Life is about defining our own values. Why do you want them off? What makes you so ashamed of them? Is it the opinions of others, or because they draw attention to you?

No matter the size you have (big or small), people would always talk. It is the nature of human beings to talk and assume they have your best interest at heart. Nobody can love you more than you love yourself. When anybody including your boyfriend makes reference to your endowment, tell them you are proud of them because they make you unique. By the time a lot of people know that you are happy at who you are, they would stop referring to them. Besides, you also have to be wise on the motive of those making fun of you. Some of them are simply out to make you feel self-conscious out of malice and jealousy for what you have which they want.

They are your breasts, your gifts, and your pride as a woman. They may be big but they are part of who you are; the things that make you so special to those whose love for you are pure.

What you should concentrate on is the packaging of them. Go for firm and very strong supportive bras that mould them perfectly. Mercifully, bra designers are now making them sexy too; no longer the drab looking designs of yesteryears. There are some good bra shops who offer professional help and advice on how you can help keep your breasts in perfect looking shapes. God knew from the beginning that you can carry them well, which is why He gave them to you. With the right kind of clothes and accessories, you may not even notice them.

Your self-consciousness may actually come from putting on the right clothes. Being bold and beautiful, don't wear clothes that cling too much on your chest. Body hugs, clinging materials would also emphasis what you are trying to hide.

If you don't know what to wear, go to plus-size shops for help. And if you are in Lagos, feel free to come down to our head-office; 7D Wempco Road, Ogba. It would be our pleasure to help you to become happy with yourself.

Good luck.

Can Woman Lose Virginity Without Sex?

Dear Agatha,

Some years ago, I noticed some white substances coming from my private part. Worried, I dipped my finger inside my person just to get rid of the white substance only for me to see blood later coming out of my virginal. Could that mean the loss of my virginity?

Another problem is whenever I shave my pubic hair; I usually develop boils on my private part. What cream can I use to get rid of the boils? I am 15 years of age.

Princess.

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Dear Princess,

The virginal is never without secretion at any particular time. Secretions in the virginal are defined by the woman's monthly cycle or her nature.

Common colours are grayish white or clear. The cells come from the vaginal lining and fluid from the vagina and the cervix. It often gets thin at mid cycle of the menses because the cervical mucous is thin and copious if ovulation has taken place.

In the second semester of the cycle it becomes thickened and sometimes clumpy under the effect of progesterone. These are all normal mechanisms to help a woman become pregnant at the mid cycle time of ovulation. It is also to bar the cervix in the second half of the cycle so that if a pregnancy occurs, there won't be any infection that might occur through the virginal.

If the cervical mucous is clear or white, not yellowish, there usually is not an infection that needs treatment. Your milky white discharge is normal. It represents cervical and vaginal secretions that contain old vaginal wall cells.

Provided there is no vulvar burning or itching, there is nothing to worry about.

There is the likelihood that if you inserted your fingers too deep into your virginal, you may have broken your hymen, a very fragile mucous that covers the virginal. It could get broken through tough exercises or through the use of a tampon. Once this seal is broken, some people assume a woman is no longer a virgin, but technically you are still a virgin because no man has penetrated your body, which means your passage is still intact.

But since the blood is the only physical evidence a lot of men use in classifying who is a virgin or not, make sure you tell any man you intend getting married to the truth concerning the state of your body. It pays to prepare the mind of the man so he doesn't think you deliberately lied to him about being a virgin when the evidence of your body says you are not. But if he was told from the beginning about the development that led to the broken seal, he would understand.

As for the boils, these are normal occurrence when some people shave with blades or shaving sticks. You can terminate them by soaking spirit in cotton wool and dabbing it over the surface of your pubic area. The alcohol in the spirit helps to prevent any infection that might have come from exposing the hair roots to common bacteria. Spirit not only disinfects the exposed hair roots but also helps to seal it up immediately, therefore preventing any possibility of infection.

Using hair removing cream helps prevent boils. Go to any chemist and ask for any feminine hair removing cream. There are lots of brands in the market and they are all good.

Good luck.