Monday, September 7, 2009

Where Are These Men Hiding?


Dear Agatha,


I want to start by appreciating your work on people's life. May God give you the spirit to move on both in your life and other people's lives. I have a problem disturbing me. The forces me to always ask, where on earth are the good men hiding? Hope to see your reply.

God bless you.

Confused Lady.


Dear Confused Lady,

Like gold you have to look deeper for the real thing. The problem these days isn’t the unavailability of good men, but the wrong values a lot of girls are putting up. Many young girls of these days have since forgotten to look at the hearts of the many men that come to them, rather they are more interested in how deep his pockets are, how many flashy cars are packed at his ultra modern home and the connection he comes with.

So, naturally the men have learnt to repackage, telling lies to entice the girls who seems to have gone highly materialistic.

Young girls are increasingly having their hearts broken, their bodies defrauded because the men who are interested in them, who would give them peace as well as respect, lack the material things they want.

It is only expected in a society where wrong values have become the order of the day that pains and anarchy would reign supreme.

If you want to catch the good men who have since withdrawn to their shells, learn to be realistic. Look at what a man has inside of him and not the size of his pocket or the quality of his friends.

There is a lot of wisdom in humble beginning, a thing so many young girls seem to have forgotten. Not everything that glitters is gold. Women, who place too much emphasis on material things, the fast life and its attendant glamour end up with men who have no scruples, who treat women as an object rather than a person with feelings and a part of them.

Therefore, to protect yourself against heartaches and pains, first consider what you want from life, those things, which are most important to you. What most young women and men are forgetting while making a choice in life is that unless proper thoughts about the future are put first, ill-conceived choices always bring on pains and disappointment.

So, when looking for a partner, look at the man with the most compassion in his heart as well as support for you. Don’t look at his today, but his many tomorrows; his future and what you can do to help him realise his dreams. Determination to endure the usual struggle that accompanies most relationship in the beginning as well as the strength of character to make it work at all cost. What most women don’t appreciate is the fact that most men find it almost impossible to trust a woman who didn’t contribute anything to their wealth or history of prosperity.

Marriages, which have stood the test of time, are those that the women played a major role in helping push the men into the right direction in life. Before any woman can reap from any man, she must be ready to invest selflessly into growing him economically, socially as well as emotionally. This is because relationship is like an investment. You get the equity commensurate with the type and quality of investment put in.

If you are willing to be patient, tolerant, selfless, and focused, you will get the right man to marry you.

Good luck.