I need to find my wife to tell her the truth

Dear Agatha, 

This Christmas would mark the seventh anniversary of my marriage to my wife. Unfortunately, my wife and I have been unable to have a child. All the tests she has done so far say she is healthy to have children.

Being a very busy man, I have kept postponing invitations of my family doctor to come for medical examinations. At any rate, since the doctor and I were both rascals in our university days, he didn’t put pressure on me so much to come since our tracks point at my viability as a man. He had helped me more than once to get out of tricky webs.

Naturally, my family members are worried. 

Severally, my mother in particular has made attempts to make me marry another woman but I have kept resisting her. I have always assured her that my wife would eventually give birth to a child.

However, there was a day I went to see my mother and met this strange-looking woman who was introduced as pastor’s daughter. We got talking until I became sleepy. Being in my mother’s place, I didn’t think anything of going into one of the rooms to sleep. 

Honestly, I didn’t know how it happened but I woke up with the strange looking woman by my side and judging from our appearance, we were both naked. Though, I don’t remember anything, she told me we had sex, something my mother who claimed to come into the room to wake me up said she witnessed.

Although I was confused by the story of my mother and the lady, I didn’t suspect my mother set me up. I was more worried about my wife whom I have never cheated on since I have been married to her. She happens to be one of the nicest things to have happened to me. She came into my life when everything was turning upside down for me. Through her dedication to me and belief in my abilities as a man, she has managed me to the enviable height I have attained today. She isn’t the kind of woman to be maltreated. 

Since the incident in my mother’s place isn’t the kind of thing one tells his wife, I did not mention it to her. Besides, by the time I got home, she had interesting news to break to me. She was two months pregnant. I was very glad and promptly forgot about the incident at my mother’s place. But I was reminded about it when I got home to find my mother and that same lady right there in my sitting room ordering my wife to quit my house, that another woman who could give me children had come to take her place.

Being a naturally calm person, my wife sat on the balcony waiting for me. Immediately she saw me, she came into the sitting room to demand for an explanation. She didn’t need to wait for an answer from me because of the guilt on my face. She didn’t say anything, she simply went into the room packed a bag and left me.

She didn’t go to her parents or friends. Her phone isn’t going through either. I don’t know where she is at all. I love my wife and I want her back in my arms. These few days have been hell for me. It took the intervention of my father to get my mother and this woman out of my house. When my father threatened to throw my mother out of his house, she confessed she drugged my drinks and got the lady to come into the room and pretend we slept together so she could have the perfect excuse to cause problems in my home.

Unfortunately, my wife is nowhere to be seen to find out the truth.

Apart from telling me what to do, she is a great fan of yours. There is no day she doesn’t go to your newspaper’s website to read you. I am hoping she would read this and come home.

Agatha, you will be helping to save my home by pleading with her. She respects your views dearly. 

Her name is Elizabeth. 

Tunji.

Dear Tunji,

Your story is pathetic! It is quite unfortunate that your mother allowed her desire to have a grandchild by you destroy a home your wife laboured to build. Even though I agree with you that the incident that happened to you is difficult to relay to one’s wife but you have been alerted by the events of that day that this was not just one of those things that happen by chance. 

You should have smelt a rat when you found this lady by your side naked in your mother’s house. Such audacity would not have been possible if your mother was not in the know. Ordinarily, that should have warned you that the incident was preplanned and that your sleep must have been induced to get you to play along. 

Another warning bell was your mother’s confirmation of being witness to the act of lovemaking by the two of you. At that point you should have asked her why she allowed such abomination to happen under her roof. That was the final confirmation you needed at that time to tell you that you have been nicely set up by your mother who has never hidden her desire for you to marry another woman.

Even if you did not have the guts to tell your wife, the matter should have been reported to your father who would have known how to frustrate and check the excesses of your mother. Honestly, you didn’t handle the matter very well. 

Your wife would not have reacted the way she did had you at least given her a hint of what happened in your mother’s house. The news would not have come to her as a shock. She would have known how to handle your mother and the woman when they came to her house to drive her out of it. She acted that way because you didn’t trust her enough to confide in her as well as the knowledge that you have been unfaithful to her. Yes, you didn’t sleep with the woman in question but the evidence of your mother and the woman are too much for her to dismiss. In her shoes, what would you have done? Remember the person here is your mother and the place the incident happened is her house with a lady she introduced to you!

Somehow her family and close friends would know where she is but are under strict instructions for them not to tell. Get your father and mother to go to her people to plead your case as well as explain what happened between you and the other woman. 

Your mother’s explanation as to how she set you up to achieve her aim of getting you to marry another woman is the only way to clear all doubts and confusion generated by your mother’s actions. 

For them to be so calm and not putting pressure on you to produce their daughter underscores their knowledge of her whereabouts. Beg them to forgive your weakness of not telling your wife about the incident. Your love and past record as well as the involvement of your parents in the matter would resolve the matter. 

I am sure you now know that marriage is a journey of trust and that without it, there is practically no marriage. No matter how unpleasant an incident maybe, it is always best to tell your partner about it before he or she finds out. Had you told her yourself, the attendant consequences and anger would have been easier for you to manage within yourself. The worst that would have happened would be for her to keep malice with you for a few days. This is an important lesson you must always keep close to your heart.

Also, learn to pray, only prayers can help us remain above our situation. 

And to you, Elizabeth, there is no marriage without challenges. Staying away won’t resolve this problem. Go back home and discuss it with your husband. You are only leaving him to temptations of other women. 
You should actually be happy that God in His infinite mercy has answered your prayers. Can you imagine if God had not answered your prayers? I am sure that would have hurt you the more. Give God all the glory for His mercies because He did not allow your mother-in-law disgrace you.

Do not allow another woman come to take over your home, reap in the land she did not sow. From your husband’s account you have always been there for him. 

Besides whatever happened was not his fault. There is no way he would have suspected his mother capable of going to the extent she went. Be happy that the truth is out and that your husband has always been truthful to his vows. Go back, that baby needs its father and so do you need your husband. This is part of the story you would one day tell your children.

Good luck.