Do you think she cares for me?

Dear Agatha, I’m about 30 years old. I’ve been looking for a life partner after the disappointment I suffered in the hands of a lady who promised to marry me. I think she did that because of the problems I was having then. Now there is this lady, whose department shared a class with mine. We usually talk and do some friendly or general things together like greeting, talking and so on. Being older than her, she shows me respect and when I was having some challenges she was there for me. For instance when I needed a small air time like a N100 recharge card, she gave me.When we finished our programme and parted ways, I had a problem in the family. I couldn’t mobilize for the National Youth Service. She called to express empathy with me as well as give me all the necessary encouragement. When she called me at another time, I told her I hadn’t solved the problem. She promised to see me whenever she was in town. I sent her a text message to loan me N500. She not only sent me the money but told me not to bother about the payment. She has been showing so much concern over my case and even assisted further over my service delay. However, I’ve been having the thoughts if all her kind gestures were just that; pitying me or that she has interest in me and desires me to approach her for a relationship that may end in us getting married. I am confused because while in school, I was regarded as someone disinterested in ladies because of my Godly disposition to life. Unlike me, she was a bit exposed and was in the habit of wearing trousers. I also think she may not be interested in a person like me. Please, advise me on what to do. Is it true she wants to have a relationship with me judging from the way she cares for me or not? Joe. Dear Joe, It is obvious that this lady has an interest in you but the choice is yours to make. She has shown you kindness, care and love. No matter what you think of her attitude or disposition to life, what she has done underscores the person within her. She has a heart that cares and concern about the situation of people around her. You weren’t the only one in school with her. There were others like you in school with her. She isn’t showing the same concern for them as she is showing you. There must be something deeper in her heart for you to instigate her constant calls to know why you aren’t going for the service year, listening to your challenges and looking for ways to make things easier for you; these certainly count for something. If nothing else, think of the time she is investing into your happiness and peace of mind. She cannot be more explicit in her interest in you. No woman likes spending her money, no matter how small on a man who isn’t her friend or that she has a relationship with. She is giving you her hard earned money because of an interest beyond mere classmates. She has taken the first step; one you must reciprocate if you are interested in her. She may not have the patience to wait around you for too long. She has gone beyond what is normal for a woman and at 30, you should by now be able to read a woman to some extent. Create the opportunity for both of you to at least sit down for a discussion. You don’t have to propose romance immediately; just talk about your challenges as well as the disappointments you have had so far. Also it will be a good thing for you to listen to her story; it will give you an idea of what she wants from her man. The fact that she is a trouser wearing woman doesn’t make her promiscuous or ungodly. Religion is a thing of the mind. It goes beyond what we say. More than anything else, our attitude forms the basis for our religious beliefs. God isn’t impressed with what we say but how we react to others around us. Besides, religion is tolerance. You must exhibit tolerance as well as listen to the voice of God inside of you. We are all His messengers. God may want to use you to change her. But if you start by being arrogant and condemning, there is no way she would listen to you at all. Don’t also forget she is an adult who has formed her ways so she cannot change because you say to. Only love like the one she has shown you can make her listen to what you have to say or accept your kind of lifestyle. If you have feelings for her, make it known to her. There is nothing out of this world. Once there is love, a lot of things can change. Besides, love doesn’t come in the package that we are familiar with. Sometimes it comes in unexpected wraps. You have to be careful, not to miss what God has in store for you. Unless you are convinced that you don’t like her, will never be able to cope with her kind of person, then let go and stop encouraging her calls. But it would be wise if you give yourself at least the opportunity to get to know her beyond the school walls. One thing is for sure, this woman likes you. Good luck