After fondling me, he ignores my calls

Dear Agatha, I am 15 years old. Because of what my brother did, I promised never to get involved with any man. But I suddenly found myself liking a boy of 19 who coaxed me into being his girlfriend. I was head over heels in love with him. I allowed him to break all my rules. I allowed him to give me my first kiss and during the process, gave him permission to touch my breasts. I was scared but he talked me into it. He was a wonderful boyfriend and great listener. All of a sudden, he stopped calling me. Being a stubborn girl, I refused to call him first. It continued for a while. Eventually, I decided to call him but he wouldn’t pick. My sister knew about him and she is now mocking me. I feel so bad and don’t know what to do. I cannot tell our adopted mother because she would kill me. I feel so lost and cannot tell anyone. I am lucky it didn’t affect my SSCE. My dad is so proud of me because I will finish my education early. But this experience has left a big scar deep inside of me. Please help me. A. Dear A, Beyond the issue of your pride as a promising young girl who prided herself on self discipline, thank God nothing fundamental happened between the two of you. This experience should teach you not to trust any man or allow yourself to be in the company of a man until you are ready for the responsibilities that go with being intimate with a man. At your age, you are like a defenseless animal in a jungle full of ferocious animals looking for a prey to devour. It takes wisdom and not strength, for the weak to escape a predator. As a young girl, you must have your thinking cap on all the time because you are on the display table for all manner of men to conquer. They will come in their dozens to indicate interest in you because you are fresh, young and full of promises. Don’t mind them because this isn’t your right season to fly. When that time comes, you would have been better prepared to cope and make a choice. But at 15, your studies should be more paramount in your mind because any slight mistake, you are doomed for life. I am sure, you don’t want to be tending to nappies and crying baby when your mates are in school and acquiring good education. Nature hasn’t given any kind of responsibilities to men when it comes to the issue of pregnancy. It is the woman’s body that nature has given such assignments. There is nothing physical to announce to the world that this man has been sexually active or is about to become a father. Even if it is your first time and you get pregnant, the whole world will brand you names you are not because of the evidence provided everybody by your protruding stomach and a baby tagging you. At 15, you need the help of every experienced adult so don’t mind what your adopted mother would say. It is best you tell her so that she would know how to protect you the more. Don’t forget she has more experience than you; having gone through the road you are on long before you were born. Yes, she is bound to express anger at your foolishness, given the fact that you could easily have allowed the body gone the whole length of the game. The realization that you came within seconds of becoming a premature mother is enough to frighten any reasonable mother of a female teenager out of her skin. The anger would help you remember not to put yourself in such compromising situation and to always have it at the back of your mind that the angel boy that comes with all kinds of promises could very well turn to a monster after he has had his way the next minute. It is always better you confide in adults on issues that have to do with your sexuality and romance until you have developed the intelligence, responsibility and wisdom to withstand the avalanche of interests from men your entrance into the world would cause you. As for your sister, be wary of her. No matter what, she should be at the vanguard of those protecting you from yourself as well as from the predators in town. For her to be the one mocking you, calls for concern. This is another reason you must tell your adopted mother. Don’t ever be afraid of being scolded if it will help prevent a fatal mistake in your life. It will also remove from your sister the power of blackmailing you into doing her wish. Remember your father will only be proud of you if you are focused. Don’t disappoint him by doing anything that will bring pains to him. Bear this in mind by avoiding any situation that will make you to be alone with any man. A harmless kiss could easily get out of hand to being something you cannot manage. No matter how strong willed a woman is, even adult women; the moment she allows herself to be alone with a man in a room, anything can happen because the chemistry between a man and woman is very volatile which can go into flames any minute. This is why you find even adult women making costly mistakes. The best attitude is to avoid any compromising situation. Besides, you have the whole of your adult life to get intimate with a man. When it is time for you to, nobody would stop you. But now is your planting season; the time to colour your future in the shades you want. Yes, you have every right to feel bad at the manner he treated you afterwards. For a second, imagine how bad you would really have felt if he had gone farther than he went; the reason you must be careful with men generally. If it is of any help, you are not the first young girl to have her fantasy and trust crushed by the object of her interest. The secret is to forget him and move on with every dignity you have. Even if he tells stories about you later, pretend you didn’t hear a thing and move on with your plans. Just learn to be focused from now on. Good luck