Should I disobey God?

Dear Agatha, I am a Christian, waiting on the Lord for so many things. He hasn’t answered. Recently, I was told I will be marrying a pastor. Ordinarily, I should be happy and honoured but I don’t. I actually feel disillusioned. I usually listen to what God says but in this situation, I don’t feel excitement or happy as I should. I feel annoyed. I’ve never had a relationship before. Am I sounding ungrateful? Is it so bad to marry a man of God or should I just do what I like? But I don’t want to disobey God because I know the consequences of doing so. What do you think, Agatha? Abiola Dear Abiola, Who am I to counter what God has decreed? You and I know the consequences of disobedience are severe. Nobody in history who disobeyed God has a pleasant story to tell. As a Christian who has established a working and walking relationship with God, you know what He says; He does irrespective of what we mere mortals think. Since marrying a pastor is your destiny, quietly go on your knees to ask him to give you the strength and courage to be a good wife to your husband. The serious issue here isn’t the man you are going to marry but your own ability to live up to the expectations of God in the life of the man. There are so many challenges that go with marriage and in particular with being married to a pastor. As a pastor’s wife, there are certain things you must never take for granted or do like other women. These are the challenges you should begin to prepare yourself for rather than reject the idea of submitting to the will of God for you. Begin to read books written by wives of successful pastors on their experiences and how they overcame the inherent fear women generally have at the idea of being married to a pastor. You will discover that many wives of pastors started with resentment and the question, “why me?” The reason for this often asked question by women blessed to be wives of pastors isn’t farfetched. the human nature is naturally programmed to rebel against the unusual. Besides the human nature arbors anything that reminds it of the essence of living an holy life; it is more at home with the bright and fast side of life which is why many women irrespective of their own beliefs inwardly protest the extra assignment being in a pastor’s wife demand of them. Also the way certain men of God present Him to the world make God appear to be ever frowning and always waiting to punish any mistake of his children. They through their teachings, presentations present God, not as a loving, merciful and caring father who is always ready to forgive our sin once we ask, but as a God who is forever angry and so unfriendly. Their interpretation of the God Head makes Him unattractive to serve and work for. For the woman, combining the challenge of a critical husband with the nerve-racking presence of a God whose image has been presented as ominous could really be frightful. But if you have been close to God, you know He is much more than some of His representatives make Him out to be. He is not just God but a very loving and caring Father who at all times protects His own. All He demands of you is to hand over the assignment He has given you back to Him. Once you allow Him direct you, take charge and dictate the pace, you will succeed in your life given assignment as a pastor’s wife. Ask Him for extra patience, assistance, understanding as well as wisdom to be the kind of wife that will help the man he wants you to marry to succeed in his task as his servant. Sometimes in our bid to exercise our God given free will, we forget our essence and end up hurting our relationship with him. This is the juncture you are in now. Don’t allow what you think is good for you come between you and Him. Always remember, He won’t lead you to where you will be disgraced or give you an assignment beyond your limits. In all honesty, He wont stop you from doing what you want but the question you should ask yourself is, would you be happy without His presence in your life, marriage or decisions? For anyone who has been close to Him, staying without Him for a second can be disastrous. Besides while struggle with someone whose law you cannot change and who at the end of the day will have His way irrespective of what you think or say? Its useless struggling against His will so give in to His decision will all humility. Good luck.