She doesn’t know his house after years of dating him

Dear Agatha, Please I need your help on this challenge I am facing. A friend of mine complained to me that her boyfriend of so many years is not bold enough to take her to his house even though he visits her regularly in her house. According to this friend, anytime she queries her boyfriend on his refusal to take her to his house, he tells her she cannot come unaccompanied by him to his place despite my friend being very familiar with the area he lives. She is of the view that her boyfriend is hiding something from her. Not only has she challenged him on the issue but has in addition accused him of hiding the existence of a wife from her. Rather than come out with the truth or take her to his house to assure my friend of his sincerity, he has kept her guessing at his refusal to take her to his house. His action is confusing because in all the years they have been dating, he hasn’t for once talked along the line of marriage but keeps telling her he loves her. He has been the only one visiting since they started. What do you think? Worried Friend. Dear Worried Friend, Although you didn’t say for how long your friend and her boyfriend have been dating, she should make efforts to know the man she is involved with. By virtue of their relationship, she has the right to know certain things about him especially as he isn’t forthcoming with any information concerning himself. I would be surprised if she knows anything about his family, friends and nature of his work. What would be her story if anything happens to him while he is with her? Who will she call? What if he is lying about everything he has told her including the bit about being single? Even if they are minors, the girl must know the nature and address of the man she is dating should any unforeseen happens. Since he is refusing to take her to his house despite her pressures on him, as a concerned friend, take it upon yourself to discreetly find out more about him; especially where he stays. It shouldn’t be difficult as your friend is familiar with the area he mentioned as being his neighbourhood. In addition, your friend should be more proactive with situations that have to do with her happiness and life. There is no point beating about the bush with her boyfriend. She should ask him pointedly what the future of their relationship is as well as the real reason he is refusing to take her home. This is very necessary to prevent a situation of her making the mistake of building too many dreams around a man who may not have plans for her. Her boyfriend won’t be committing any offence if tomorrow he leaves her for another woman or she founds out the he isn’t single. The point is, he hasn’t promised her anything. She is the one assuming that they are serious. From his behavior, it is obvious that he isn’t as serious as she is with him. It could be the reason he doesn’t want her to come to his house. Knowing what he thinks about the relationship will help her come to realistic decisions concerning her future instead of wasting her time on a relationship that may have nothing to offer her. Good luck.