What will end my marriage to Osu girl?

Dear Agatha,

 I have been in this relationship for four years now. Currently, I am undergoing my masters’ degree programme.

My girlfriend and I are very much in love and plan to marry soon but my parents say I can’t marry her because she is an Osu, a child born by the slaves and culturally considered an outcast in Igbo land.

Agatha, the truth is that I can’t love another woman. And I am determined to go ahead with this wedding since I have exhausted every avenue to make my parents change their minds. I have pleaded with them, done everything to make them support me, but all to no avail. But despite my determination, I am still confused. Am I doing the right thing since I am going into a marriage without my parents’ blessings? Please what should I do? 

Roland.

Dear Roland, 

In the very first instance God created everyone freeborn. Nobody has the right to label any person an outcast. Besides, the tradition that gave birth to such a social rating draws strength from ancient traditional practices that have since died with better knowledge of God, His ways and will for everyone of us.

The culture that gave birth to this unfair social tag mostly came from ignorance and wrong interpretations of powers beyond our understanding. If your parents are true Christians, they should have crystal understanding of what God says about the things He created especially man whom in His infinite wisdom He made in His image. If a being, made in the image of God, is cast as an outcast it means a part of God is being branded an outcast. God is whole, loving, caring, and free which makes man absolutely free to associate. 

If you love this lady, stand by her. If God has not created her to be an outcast- a subhuman- nobody or culture has the right to put in bondage that whose God has set free. 

More than ever before, this is the time for you to showcase your feelings for this woman. Knowing how deeply entrenched the cultural beliefs of your people are, regarding the so called Osu, it might not be easy right now to get your parents to support your decision. Such acceptance would only come after several years of seeing how ideal a couple both of you are, come when their grandchildren make it impossible for them to continue to ignore you, when they discover that all their fears of repercussions are baseless, and when they discover the huge success you are making out of your lives. 

For these reasons, you must be sure that God paired you both to be an item, must never allow the distraction presented by the social classification of her status distract you both from the real issues of finding your rhythm as a couple.

Because of this challenge, both of you must make a vow to become best of friends, be each other’s confidant, have the determination to subdue all challenges that come with two persons from different backgrounds living together. You must learn this early to forgive, care, tolerate, and understand each other in such a way that would make outside influences disrupt your union. In addition to providing support for each other, you both must learn to embrace God always.  Doubtless it isn’t going to be easy initially but if you are both sure God made you both an item, it would work in spite of the current challenges you are both facing. 

To know if you are doing the right thing, listen to the rhythm of your heart, that tiny still voice that whispers what is right to you. What do your four years of being with her tell you about her? Looking at her being, her person and not her social status, would give you the assurances you need to move on with her. 

By the way, have you tried getting the pastor or priest of your parents’ church to talk to them on this matter?

Just learn to pray. 

Good luck.