My children are irresponsible

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626 Dear Agatha, My problem is not your usual kind but I would be highly honoured if you help me to resolve this issue while I’m still alive. I am almost 70 years of age and married three wives but have three children from three other women outside my wives . The first one is dead leaving me with the two others. Between them, I have 18 children who are all grown up and ought to be managing their own businesses or affairs but I discovered all of them are waiting for me to die so that they can inherit my numerous businesses. This itself isn’t a bad thing because the prayer of every parent is to be succeeded by the child but a situation where they still come home to ask for money to fend for their wives or husbands and children leaves me wondering what will become of them all after I die. The sad thing about all these is the absence of love between all of them; even among children of the same mother. They are always looking for ways to implicate each other. but the recent one got me thinking. The first son of my second wife reported the first son of my late wife to the Police as being an armed robber simply because he desired to be the eldest son of the family. For almost eight weeks we didn’t know the whereabouts of my first son until a kind Police officer in charge of the investigation came home to question me and his neighbours about his character. It was from him we got to know he was being held at the special anti-robbery unit for armed robbery. Through this kind officer, we got a copy of the petition and found out it was his brother that wrote the petition. He later confessed that he wanted him out of the way to pave way for his headship of the family. We were able to withdraw the matter from the Police as well as keep it out of courts. This is why I have come to you. If I am alive and they are already scheming to eliminate each other, what will become of my family when I am no more? What do I do? I know I have made some costly mistakes as a young man with all the women and children I have but is there a way I can stop them killing each other when I die? Besides, how do I make them responsible? Even the ones abroad aren’t serious about their lives. The only one who is serious is the one daughter I initially rejected when her mother took in. I only accepted her after she was born and tests confirmed I am her father. Of all my children she is the only one I didn’t have anything to do with her education not because I didn’t want to but because her mother stopped me from paying her fees. She told me in implicit terms that given the disgrace I put her through, she will never allow me contribute to the upkeep of her child and must have communicated the same sentiment to our daughter. No matter how much I try to give her money, she will always politely turn me down despite coming to the house to visit and spend some few days. She works with a multinational company, holds a very good position and has a husband who is also very successful. She is the only one giving me joy as she sends money to me at the end of the month and takes care of my medical bills despite having the resources of my own to take care of all my needs. I am seriously considering bequeathing all my wealth to her. I am most safe with her. What do you advice? Concerned Father. Dear Concerned Father, Search deep into your cupboard of your heart for clues. The latter part of your mail is pregnant with meaning and, in its way, point to the possible cause of your headaches and disappointments with your children. Without meaning to sound rude, what kinds of things did you do to acquire your wealth? How did you treat people you worked with? Did you at anytime hurt anyone unjustly, sufficiently to provoke God to fight for that person? Did you at any time cheat someone or a group of people out of their right and sweat? Is there a blood contamination somewhere in your castle of wealth? If the only child you didn’t spend your money on; is the only one making it among the 18 children you have, it then follows that money, used in training the children is carrying a heavy curse that forbids you to enjoy the labours of your hands. This money has contaminated the destiny of these children. Nothing you do or say will ever make meaning to them unless you do something to clean up that which you did in the hidden. This is why you must go back to the beginning; the origin of your wealth. That is where the problems you are having with your children started from. If you don’t want to die a very sad and unfulfilled man, think deep. There is no way you would reap goodness in a garden you planted sorrow. Nothing we do go unrewarded. If you have caused someone to weep over his or her children, there is no way you would go to the grave without suffering terribly from that cup of bitterness. That is why one child would go and report the sibling of being an armed robber. That act alone is a preview of what would happen among your children when you die. Even if you fast from today till tomorrow, without you confessing your hidden secret, your children will only get worse in their attitude towards you. Battles like this don’t happen without a reason; undoubtedly, you opened an ancient evil secret door for this problem to invade your life. If you don’t act now to remedy the situation, even in the grave you will never find peace; your children will guarantee that. The only way is to admit the source of your wealth with a view of making amends so that you can find forgiveness in the sight of God. The spell has to be broken for you to enjoy what fatherhood is all about. That one of them is taking care of you is a line of mercy God opened for you; perhaps following the good you also did somewhere. Align yourself with that for complete solution. If you cannot remember what you did wrong or who you offended, go back to the mother of this daughter of yours. For the mother to have refused all your offers to train her child or give her money, she must have been told somewhere of the grave danger of you using your money to train any child. There is no way she would have refused you train your daughter if she wasn’t warned. The excuse she gave you for refusing help is to mask her real reason. No woman ever refuses the help of the father of her child to carry the burden of caring for the child especially if not married to the man. Seek her help. If she refuses to listen to you, get your daughter to speak on your behalf to her mother. The essence is to make your search for solution less tedious. Plead with her to tell you what she was told if you are sure you don’t know what you did or where all these is coming from. On your own seek the face of God. No matter how scarlet our sins are, He promised to make them clean. By submitting yourself to God, you open your life as well as those of children up for mercy. In addition, consider reading your will before you die; give every child his or her entitlement. It may sound morbid but it will stop them killing each other in the long run and help preserve your life longer. By the time you do this, you will have the presence of mind to live your life the way you want to without worrying about them. If they are unable to properly manage their inheritance, it won’t be your fault or anyone’s fault. Above all, go to God in prayers and total submission to His will. It is the only way out for you if you desire pure happiness in the end. Good luck.