I’m hooked on women and gambling

Dear Agatha,                    

 I am 20 years of age. I really want to be a successful man but things going on in my life appear to be pointing at the opposite direction.

I am yet to gain admission into a tertiary institution. I wrote this year’s Joint Admission matriculation Examinations (JAMB) and scored 249. But the school I selected as my first choice did not even release my result which is exactly what happened last year. Despite scoring 234, the University of Ibadan did not bother to invite me for the University Matriculation Examinations. 

To me, education is the best legacy anybody can have. I don’t know why all these are happening to me. Even my social life is something else as I can’t give account in the last two years of my #15,000.00 monthly salaries. 

I often gamble with the little left and many a time fall on the losing side. I also have a very high lust for girls. Please, I need your guidance.

Worried Boy.

Dear Worried Boy,

There is no way you can account for your salaries if at this early stage in your life, you have already embraced the twin vices of women and gamble.

If established men have been known to go down financially as a result of these two vices, how much more, you a young man, who earns a paltry N15,000.00 per month?

You are too young to fall into this social abyss. If you don’t act fast to wean yourself from these deadly lifestyle, you risk sinking your entire future entirely.

These habits are like cancer cells that won’t stop multiplying until they completely consume all the healthy cells. There is no way you can ever be focused on what you are doing, especially concerning your education if you don’t beat this habit.

What you are doing is akin to setting good money on fire. I am sure you can use such money to improve on your education through part-time enrollment since you appear to be having problems securing admission through JAMB.

For a man whose thirst is to be successful, you are taking so many things for granted. Success doesn’t come by mere wishful thinking or by the kind of lifestyle you have adopted.

It takes a serious minded person; who is focused and well defined in the choices that have to be made; a series of seemingly unending sacrifices for one to succeed in life.

Thank goodness you are still young and able to recover faster from the down slide you are headed.

It is a simple matter of determination to fuel your resolve to be more focused.

To get it right, you need to ask yourself why you are attracted to gambling. There must be something that is compelling about it. All addictions have one strong magnet. Your problem would be half resolved once you are able to pin-point why you bet.

Once you identify it, begin the big fight to help yourself defeat it. If the baits are friends, avoid them to enable you recover the time you are wasting away.

A time would come when your thirst for education will take second place to the need to get married or do other things. Life is a big stage and it doesn’t have the time to wait for anyone left behind which is why you must seize the opportunity provided by your youth and time to make progress with  your life else you will discover that while others, friends and colleagues have moved on, you are still revolving around the same spot gambling your life away.

Furthermore, why do you lust after women? What do you find most compelling about the women you ache for? Would having a girlfriend address the problem? The danger of hungering after women at your age is that you will never have the time and energy to do other things because everywhere you turn to are different kinds of women.

You will never be in short supply of women to sleep with therefore; you must desire success sufficiently to resist the temptation of a woman’s body. Besides, success can get you the kind of woman you aren’t getting now because you don’t have the style, status, educational qualification to attract her attention.

The funny thing about life is that there is always an improvement of that thing you are so unwillingly to give up.

It is a matter of knowing what to do at any particular time.

Trust me by investing your money more on your education. Refuse to be defeated by JAMB. Sign up for a part-time programme while you think of the kind of business you can do to bring in extra money for you. You will be surprised how much you can make if you put the money you invest on gambling on a viable business.

Success doesn’t fall from the sky; it has to be worked for.

Good luck.