What can I do to have him back in my arms?

I have been married for four years. Ordinarily my husband is caring and responsible but since I married him, he has persistently done certain things that are beginning to make me wonder if he thinks of me at all. He has never remembered my birthday let alone, buy me gifts. But I have never failed to remember his birthdays and proceed to buy him gifts. I wouldn’t have minded if he also doesn’t remember his children’s birthdays. Since we became parents, there is nothing concerning his children special days, he doesn’t remember. He not only remembers but also makes it a family celebration. He would take time out to take us all out. He also remembers his mother’s birthdays. He never fails too to give me more than enough money to buy her presents. Whenever I ask why it is only my birthdays, he forgets, he would mumble something about being too busy. Although he would bring my gift the next day, but then it wont be my birthday gift-more of apology gift. Since he has consistently treated my birthday as a none issue in the last couple of years, I deliberately forgot his as well and his mother’s to show him how it feels not to be remembered by the one you love the most in the world. The fact, I forgot his mother’s birthday is now causing so much problems in our home; more than I bargained for. Since June, he has refused to talk to me; he says I am wicked and uncaring. He also described me as being cruel to his mother. The fact that he knew I did it deliberately is what is making him very angry. I am fed up of everything and just want my husband back but is making peace between us impossible to negotiate. He only talks to me when there are people around or his children are with us. In the bedroom, he sleeps on a small mattress he bought for his study room. When I make attempts to touch him, he pushes me off him; he hasn’t looked my way since the incident. I can’t continue like this. What can I do to have him back in my arms? I love him so much. Eyiwunmi. Dear Eyiwunmi, Beg him! Two wrongs can never be right. So what if he forgets your birthday? How many men remember their wives’ birthdays? You are not his child so why should he remember your birthday the way he remembers those of his children? If he doesn’t remember his children’s birthdays, who will? He remembers his children special days because he helped to create them. There is no way he ever forgets the anxiety of bringing them into the world. Therefore it is natural for him to always remember those days just as your father remembered yours while you were still at home. He will also not forget his mother’s birthday because of the history they shared together. No matter the position you now occupy in his life, his relationship with his mother predates yours and can never be replaced by you. No matter your anger against your husband, you should never have taken it out on his mother. You were wrong to exhibit such a behaviour towards a woman who gave birth to the man you love most in the world. The fact that she trained him to be caring and responsible like you said, should that be a reason for you to always show appreciation to her? Besides, she deserves every attention she can get at her age. How would you feel if the wife of your son stops him from celebrating you in your old age? She has worked to be where your husband is today so don’t ever begrudge whatever he spends on her or the quality of attention he bestows on her. It is her right, her moment to reap what she sowed years back. The fact that he has ignored you for almost two months after the incident happened, explains his hurt and disappointment at your conduct. You have been married to this man for four years and should have known issues very close to his heart. There is no way, you will live with someone for a year and not know the values of such a person. Even if you wanted to pay him back in his coins, you should have chosen to his own birthday to do that, not his mother’s. It isn’t as if his mother is supporting him to ignore your birthday. In addition, the fact that he always comes back home with gifts the day after your birthday shows that he isn’t completely indifferent to your birthday. Not many men would even think it appropriate to buy an apology gift as you call it for their wives after her birthday. Marriage is about accepting the limitations of the other person and appreciating the person’s strength. Besides, wisdom demands that certain issues be tackled with diplomacy. As a wife and mother, you must at all times find a balance in your dealings with your family members. Had you used either his own birthday or his children’s to drive home your point, he wouldn’t have taken it to heart the way he is taking your actions against his mother. Now he thinks you don’t like his mother at all. It will take you quite an effort to make him see reasons with you, make him forget that you can be mean to his mother. Since he is very close to his mother, she is the only one that can settle this matter. You may not like the idea of going to her but at the point your marriage has gotten to now, you need to do something very urgently. The more you sleep apart the more danger you expose your home and family. He is angry and very vulnerable to the manipulation of a crafty woman. This is a dangerous gulf you must not allow to continue. If it means telling his mother everything, do it fast. Men aren’t as patient when it comes to the issue of intimacy. You may be able to endure it but, he wont be able for too long. There are too many attractive women out there for you to ignore the real danger this situation presents to your home. In soliciting for her assistance, apologise for deliberately forgetting her birthday. Tell her the truth and why you thought it was a good idea then. As a woman, she would understand the sentiments of your action especially if you have never had any issue with her before. Follow this by trying to win him back with the pleasant memories of your life together before this unfortunate incident. Cook him his favourite meal, the kind you know he can’t resist. Make sure his children are up and waiting for him when he comes back. Since he can’t resist his children, he would be forced to eat the meal. Use that opportunity to touch him, whisper your apologies into his ears, bathe in your most seductive perfume. For once, ignore the children while you commence your wooing game. Present him with the best gift you know he likes; go into the bedroom to wear one of your most sinful nightgowns; the kind no sane man can resist. The idea is to get him to touch you. I am sure once you are able to break into his wall of defence, getting him to listen to your apologies won’t be that difficult anymore. If you need to use an adult film to water down his stubborn resistance, do it provided you achieve your aim of getting him back in your bed and arms. After that go on your knees to properly say sorry to him. If your wish is to have him celebrate your birthday, make sure you start reminding him about a month to the time. Begin a countdown process; on the day, wake him up with a kiss reminding him that you are glad to be alive. Order a cake for the family; plus a special meal. This way, he can’t but remember to get you something special. There are always better alternatives to every situation as long as we are willing to apply our minds to these alternatives. Always place God on your front burner. Good luck