Virgin at 29, thinking of deflowering myself…

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626 Dear Agatha, I am greatly worried about my situation. I am a lady of 29 years of age, still single and a virgin. I am however baffled, because men like me but not strong enough to ask for my hand in marriage. All I get from them is admiration and appreciation for the kind of person I am. Because of this problem I have gone to many men of God to seek marriage prayers, but all to no avail. Also I have attended many crusades, engaged in fasting and prayers, but it appears as if God isn’t hearing my prayers. Please, Agatha, I am tired of being a virgin. Frankly speaking, I have concluded on plans to deflower myself, since no man needs me. Amidst all these the bell of the word of God is still ringing in my ear to keep his words. Please help me. I deeply confused. Confused Lady. Dear Confused Lady, If God has told you to wait, what is your hurry? He is the only one who sees the end from the beginning, has the original manual of our lives. He remains the only one who cannot deceive you. It is therefore in your own interest to wait for Him to lead you aright. However for every phase of our lives, every experience, there are embedded lessons He wants us to learn before going to the next class. This is what you are failing to do. You have allowed yourself to bother too much about sex and breaking your virginity to have time to concentrate on the important things of your present situation. Without you first discovering who you are, how can you make any man happy? If complains about your virginity and desperation are all a man who wants to get close to you receive from you, there is no way he would stay. Men, like women, want to be appreciated. No serious minded man wants to be seen only as a sex object, only useful for the purpose of deflowering you. Even if a man comes with the intentions of being serious with you, your kind of attitude as well as line of thoughts can make the man change his mind. Ordinarily, men should be falling over themselves asking for your hand in marriage because ladies like you are rare. But if none of them is, contented with simply admiring you, then you need to change your prayer point to asking God what kind of plans He has for you. It isn’t just a matter of praying and fasting. It is you seeking the face of God on how He wants you to spend the rest of your life and with whom. Threatening to deflower yourself isn’t a solution. What will you achieve by doing that? Will it make the men come? Will it change the fact that the men appear timid in asking for your hand in marriage? You will only end up hurting yourself in the process. It is only when you have reconciled with God, gotten a clear directive from Him that you will know where to direct your energy and prayers. Furthermore, when men perceive a woman to be too desperate for their time and attention, they have this tendency to run. They would wonder why the desperation. Don’t make it look as if your virginity is a curse, and your age a burden. At your time and season, you will be happy as long as you develop the wisdom and patience to ask God about the big ‘Why’ in your life. This is something between you and God, not you and any pastor. Surround yourself with positive thoughts, one wrapped in the understanding and appreciation of God. Don’t worry as long as you are keyed into His plans for you, no matter how rough the road is, you will smile in the end. Good luck.