Many suitors, but none religiously compatible

With Agatha Edo,Email: womaneditor@independentngonline.com,gataedo@yahoo.com or agatha.edo@gmail.com Dear Agatha God bless you, I appreciate the way you solve people’s problem; may God continue to bless you. I want you to help me with this problem. There are currently many suitors seeking my hand in marriage but none of them is a believer. There is this one who appears serious and whom I like too. He claims to be born-again but he is an Anglican. Much as I like him, he is an unbeliever. I want to marry a Pentecostal. Although I am not in a hurry to marry because I am still young, but what do you think I should do since I don’t want to keep rejecting suitors. I am tired. This man in question does not know anything about the Holy Ghost and he can’t even speak in tongue. What should I do? Blessing. Dear Blessing, Yours is a classic case of the many absurdities which are today confronting the body of Christ; the many misconceptions that have turned the house of Christ to a theatre of massive confusions and many strange doctrines. It is unfortunate the way we have allowed religion and faith to be taken over by confusion and how much this confusion is denying a lot of people the chance to be really happy with their God-given destinies. Painfully, this massive confusion is altering the relationship many should have with God and placing undue emphasis on things that are not biblical and completely absurd. What makes the God of Pentecostal churches different from the God of Anglicans? What makes the Holy Spirit in their Bible different from the Holy Spirit of Pentecostal Churches? Is the God in their Bible different from the God in the Bible of Pentecostal churches? Is the story of Jesus Christ in their Bible different from what you know? And who says speaking in tongues is the only manifestation of the Holy Spirit? What happens to all the other gifts God gave to mankind? What about the gift of love, wisdom, humility, meekness and understanding of the scriptures one of the divine assignments of the Holy Spirit? What about the warnings of Christ that a house divided against itself cannot stand? Who is clean to prescribe judgment on anybody? Can you claim perfection in the sight of God on the premise of being a member of a Pentecostal Church? Is being a member of a Pentecostal Church enough credential for making heaven? To get it right and for you to be happy in life, you must first of all divorce yourself from the anarchy in the body of Christ occasioned by different denominations. What is important is how we are before God. We cannot do the work of God the father, the Son and the Holy Spirit for them. Being all Christians, disciples of Jesus Christ, we need love and perfect understanding and tolerance to exalt His name. Even if you think he is the worst sinner, what did Jesus prescribe? Tolerance and love. If you think he is in the dark and you are in the light, as a Christian, shouldn’t you first give him the opportunity to share in your light? Have you paused to wonder why it is only men you consider unbelievers that are coming your way? If you have a good knowledge of the Holy Spirit, you should know that God is trying to pass a message across to you, to offer them your light, to show them the grace and mercy of your faith and lead them out of their unbelief. As a messenger of the Holy Spirit, selfishness and condemnations are forbidden. Ideally, you shouldn’t put your own sentiments and needs above the salvations of these unbelievers. What is expected of a true child of God is to offer Jesus first to such people. Having said that, it is important you first go to God to give you a clear vision of what He expects of you and how you should go in life to avoid frustrating regrets. There is no way you can ever hope to be happy if you stand as the accuser, jury and the judge in your own matter. This attitude will never help you get a correct answer to this problem. Granted, you need someone who understands your passion for Christ, who is knowledgeable about your doctrine but it should not be the only parameter for accepting to marry anybody. The marriage institution is too complex to be premised on mono-attribute. Today, many confess to Christianity without understanding the issues involved in it. Christianity has become a fad rather than a conviction. Majority of us are still Bible-carrying and not Bible-practising Christians, which makes it imperative for you to open up your agenda to be able to comprehend as well as focus on all the issues involved in choosing a life-partner. The appraisal must begin from your end. You must have a very broad comprehension of what love and marriage are to recognise the qualities that would make you happy in life. Without you equipping yourself with the knowledge of love and marriage, you risk placing too much premium on inconsequential attributes which at the end of the day would only make you resentful and disappointed in the entire concept of love and marriage. Marriage based on warped reasoning and information more often than not ends in terrible situations. That you are considering other aspects of a man doesn’t make you carnal or lacking in the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. As a matter of fact, marriage without the presence, wisdom and guidance of the Holy Spirit will never work hence you must completely submit yourself, dreams and desires to the Holy Spirit to record success. Give yourself the chance to know these men before crucifying them along the lines of your very narrow perspective. One of these men may have the magic key to your happiness but if you fail to wisdom, you might end up full of regrets and pains later in life. There is no chance now, and adequate preparations must be made towards marriage, being the most important institutions in life. Whether you begin now or not, you will eventually confront all the issues you are now facing. Give yourself a good start by thinking about it and taking all the steps to be happy tomorrow. Pray for the help and direction from God as well as an open heart to hear and receive from Him. Good luck.