Re: I need help with sexual intimacy

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626 Dear Agatha, God created the woman for the man so that man will not be alone. Therefore the woman was given to the man for companionship and intimacy. However, it is a pity this aspect is lacking in most marriages. It appears as if the flavour just disappears after the honeymoon. Did you have sex before marriage? If so, confess to the Lord and obtain forgiveness for your foundation to be repaired. A man and his wife wake up each and go their separate ways, to work. They come back in the night to meet on the bed. Sometimes, rather than a fresh smelling husband, the woman comes home to one that is reeking of alcohol, making it almost impossible to stay in the same room with him not to mention intimacy. The result is the woman either vacating the room or turning to her side of the bed to sleep. Gradually the purpose of the two of them coming together in marriage begins to wane. Even on Sundays when they should be at home, they have one town meeting or the other to attend. The wife plans her annual leave for August when she can attend August meeting, while the husband plans his leave for December when he has so many events in the village to attend. So how can the couple blend as one? How can they help their marriage grow or provide their children with the right kinds of example to learn from? Another couple has got very lucrative jobs, which unfortunately give them little or no time to be together. They both eat at their work except on Sundays when they eat in the house. Years of living like that and they discover that their marriage has become very cold without feelings for each other. They then decided to sit down to discuss the way out. The wife admitted that stress is responsible for her naggings and suspicions of her husband. Both admitted to having no sexual fulfillment between them, but having “sexual pressures” at work from colleagues. Finally they agreed on a way out; one has to resign from the high paying job for a less paying job to give more time and flexibility. The wife makes the sacrifice of quitting her own job. From that point things changed. Meals are ready before her man comes back from the office by 7pm, just as the bath is running for both of them to clean up together. To add spice to the marriage, she sometimes drives to bring the husband back from work. They began to take their bath together, eat together and sleep together. The bedroom became more appealing as it wore a new and neat look at all times. They plan their annual leaves to fall in the same month – usually in July and both visit places of interest and spend time in prayers and study of the scriptures together. The spark was back! Both marriages were working; they had children but then there is a difference! The first one has got no love and sacrifice. At best they are having sexual intercourse, sometimes even what looked like rape because the wife, when the man comes home smelling of alcohol refuse to sleep with the man or in the bedroom altogether. They soon got tired of each other and tired of the whole arrangement they call marriage. A wise woman builds her house, but with her own hand the foolish one tears hers apart. However, the second marriage portrayed above has got the flavour of sacrifice and love. They were able to overcome their differences because they put their marriage and companionship above every other thing. They both wanted and worked for the marriage to thrive and for intimacy to grow. It takes two to tango. Therefore, companionship is what both parties in a marriage must want desperately for it to work. When one person craves for it and the other person cannot be bothered, it becomes a kind of problem for the one who wants it. The efforts of pulling the other person along might completely discourage that person from going further.