Falling in love with a man I never met?

Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com,Tel: 08054500626


Dear Agatha,
I am very much in love with a man I have never met in person. But we are in love with each other. Do you think it is right?
Worried Girl.

Dear Worried Girl,
To appreciate whether what you feel is right or wrong, it is important you understand the true meaning of love as well as the essence of a relationship.
Every human activity has a set of rules governing it for it to function at full capacity.
Falling in love is no exception. There are conditions attached to its full potentials. It also comes in different shades of colours. This is the reason someone would prefer a light person to dark people or another would meant for a person’s voice.
Definitely, something about this person’s voice or reasoning appeals to you, but in the real world, one in which compromises, sacrifices, loyalty, irritations, regrets and anger are its daily features, it requires more than voice or reasoning to make it work.
A lot of times we mistake likeness, fondness or soft-spot for love when in reality these other emotions are a far cry from what true love really is. Whereas love is a combination of all these other emotions, none of them has the staying power of love or can give the kind of sacrifice real love offers. It must go through a process of series of pains, rejections, betrayals, embarrassment, and forgiveness to give it character and bring out its true colours. True love without these can of forfeitures will in most part cave in when pressures come.
Therefore, it isn’t just about you and this man talking or exchanging pleasantries. It takes extra effort to make a relationship work.
A meeting must occur to estimate your compatibility as a couple. There is no way a phone conversation would reveal the actual nature of the person behind whatever it is you have fallen in love with.
Your feelings have to be subjected to the day-to-day test of two different people coming together as one. Love cannot exist in an empty space. It has to be fitted into something to make it real.
What you are both doing now is similar to shielding your feelings from pains and disappointments. This is no way to truly determine the colours of your feelings for each other.
To avoid the common issue of regret that accompanies invisible relationships, endeavour to take each day at a time; limit whatever you feel for each other to friendship. By avoiding putting a tag of love to what you feel for him, you give yourself the freedom to think straight; view your feelings for him with more objectivity and come to a realistic conclusion on its viability.
If he is within the country, make out time to see each other; this way you demystify the ambiguity of what you think you feel for each other. This way, you both give yourselves the berth to be very realistic about your feelings for the other person; grow the necessary shocks to cushion whatever challenge comes your way, absorb the things you can and iron out those things that are intolerable.
But if he is where you cannot get to meet with him easily, by taking each day at a time, you are preparing yourself for any kind of disappointment that may come up later in the relationship.
Good luck.