All he wants is my body

Dear Agatha, 

I have a boyfriend I love very much. But the issue here is, he has been pressuring me to have sex with him. I have kept resisting him. 

He has however vowed to keep up the pressure until I agree to what he wants from me. What should I do?

Worried Girl,

Dear Worried Girl,

When a man makes it so obvious that his only interest in a woman is to have her in his bed; the woman either makes the choice to end the relationship if she doesn’t want to submit to his desires or agree to what the man wants. I say this because when a man makes sex his sole agenda in a relationship, the chances of the woman having the desired peace to grow the relationship will never happen.

There is nothing you do or say that will change the mind of this man who has openly told you that sex is the reason for his interest in you. You may love him, but he doesn’t want anything from you beyond sex. For all he cares, once you agree to sex, nothing else matters.

The danger of staying around him is that of him wearing down your resolve not to give in. Also the fact that you are still around him despite your refusal would make him come to the conclusion that you are only playing hard to get. Should you become a little careless in his presence, this kind of man could take advantage of the situation to  have his way with you. All he will do is to apologise but the harm would have been done. The longer you stay with this man, the higher your risk of being hurt. A man who really cares for a woman in that special way doesn’t market sex as his major interest for approaching her for a relationship.

Such unrelenting demand underscores his sole interest in you. This man wants free access to your body at any time he desires it. At the end of the day, if you are not careful, by the time he has his fill, he would dump you for another woman.

The essence of a relationship is not to have sex but to examine a couple’s compatibility level. The period of a relationship is to expose two strangers to the struggle of merging two opinions, dreams and efforts together. The only way to achieve this is to strive for ways of being committed to what each person is bringing.

But if the interest is limited to sex, the ability to grow the relationship to maturity suffers a major set back in that time that should have been invested in discovering and mending strong and weak areas would have been wasted on sex; an ingredient that can be customised after every other thing is in place by the couple to give the relationship that extra favor.

But if everything is absent; sex alone no matter how good between a couple, cannot sustain a relationship.

This is the reason you must put a good distance between the two of you; look for someone else whose interest in you goes beyond your body to your mind. By staying too long in a relationship you know lacks a future beyond what pleasures your body offers the man, you are denying yourself of the opportunity of meeting with the right man.

By staying, you are only indirectly telling yourself that you don’t have a dream of what you want precisely from life. A woman who has a dream, is sure of where she is going will never allow any man like the one you have in your life reduce her worth to sex.

So one thing you must do is to have a dream, a focus of what you want from life and what you want to give back to it. Your importance in life begins with a solid dream. This naturally becomes your focus in life, the peg of everything that you do. If you had this kind of vision, you won’t allow just any man into your space since the image of the kind of man to drive and motivate your dream would be clear in your mind.

Therefore, step out first to give yourself a focus in life. Once you do this, it will be easier for you to know what to do with this man who has made sex his reason for wanting you in his life.

Good luck.

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