I can’t satisfy a woman sexually

Dear Agatha,

I am a regular reader of your column. The problem is my inability to satisfy a woman sexually. What can I do?

Mecus

Dear Mecus,

Although you didn’t specify what your exact problems are, the truth remains that having the right attitude towards lovemaking is the key to optimum satisfaction.

First accept your limitations as a man. Don’t assume you are perfect or that you know everything about lovemaking. This is the mistake a lot of men make. The fact that a man can get going with a woman doesn’t make him an expert.

The dance of time is such that the woman can teach the man some new tricks just as the man can teach her too. It is a symbiotic exploration that demands a man and woman must give and take.

If you have an open mind, you make it easier on yourself to look for the right prescription to whatever the issue is here. Sincerity, makes your partner more willing to help you overcome your peculiar problem.

If your challenge is that of size or premature peak, a right disposition can correct or address the problem. All you have to do, especially to get the understanding of your partner, is to tell her the truth from the beginning.

When it comes to the issue of sex, men especially should stop pretending and open up on their fears, failures, challenges and hope to their partners. Once your partner is aware of what she is dealing with, she will know what to do to help.

As long as you don’t leave her in the background or out of your problem, the woman would not expect too much from you or feel let down when you cannot meet with her perceived impressions about your ability as a man.

As I have often harped on, sex is more of imagination than the expertise of any man or woman. If a man has the perfect sense of adventure and has a partner who is willing to explore, no matter his size or challenge, the entire process will come out wonderfully well.

When it comes to lovemaking, there is no bad lover but wrong attitudes. If you apply your mind to look beyond your so called challenges and focus on how best you can function with what you have, you have passed the major hurdle as it makes it easy for you to accept the leading of your partner or suggestions from books and adult films on how to improve your technique.

Sex has to be constantly upgraded, distilled and rebranded like everything else to make it relevant to the people involved.

By liberating your mind from whatever impression you have wrapped it in, you make it easier on yourself to learn and accept different ways of doing the same thing.

Good luck.