Can I break this oath?

Dear Agatha, 

I have been a follower of the heartwarming advices you render to the helpless; meaning I’m your greatest fan and I’d really say it’s
encouraging.

I took a blood oath with a girl for my own selfish reasons. Though I
have feelings for her but if you ask me, I’d say she has little feelings for me.
Since taking the oath,  I’m no longer myself, I isolate myself from all my good female
friends. This has resulted into calls for thorough investigation into what is
going on. 

My hands are always on my cheek whenever I’m alone.

The oath was made between the both of us. No native doctor was there. The razor blade we used; is still with me.

Please Ma, I want to know if the oath is potent without a native doctor. If it is, please assist me on what to do.
Victor.

Dear Victor,

An oath is an oath irrespective of whether or not there was the presence of a third party.

To help you understand the subject of oath taking; lets look at the agreement between a man and woman. The major covenant is the decision of the two of them to have a relationship. Without this initial oath between the two of them to spend their lives together, there would be no exchange of wedding vows that the world witness.

Irrespective of whatever method you people employ to agree on an issue; it becomes binding.

In the process of meeting a woman or man, we enter unknowingly into different kinds of oaths. The idea of having sex with a girlfriend or boyfriend is itself a covenant which also requires certain kinds of prayers to neutralize should the relationship go askew.

The reason for this is simple; in the process of making love, life generating fluids get exchanged by the couple; the reason sex outside marriage is both a spiritual and physical gamble. Sex with a cursed or wrong person can complicate and destroy the other person’s life because of this exchange. For a man particularly, having sex with the wrong woman can put him under her complete control unless God intervenes on behalf of the man.

Adding a blood oath to your relationship with a woman or man; makes it more binding because in the spiritual realm, blood signifies life.

By taking a blood oath, you have unwittingly bounded your life with hers forever since there is no way you can both separate the blood you each sucked from the other person’s finger.

It is also strange that you took the oath knowing that you aren’t totally into each other. It is like betting away your peace of mind as well as future.

Already, having sex with her puts you in a precarious position; to add a blood oath to it, is ringing yourself into a very difficult corner; one you will need the special grace of God to survive.

To be candid, spiritually, you have armed this girl with every weapon to deal with you. If she is from the wrong stock, there is no telling the kinds of attacks you will experience should you decide to break up with her.

As it is now, that oath you took with her is a life acceptance of her person in your life; an assurance that you will always be hers and by her side; an iron-cast commitment to her.

Deep in her mind, she has ended her search for the right man since you went beyond oral commitment to something more assuring- a blood oath. Not even the exchange of marital vows can be as strong as the oath you took with her.  On this is the new anchor of your relationship; her renewed hope of a happy ending between the two of you.

Against this background; if you really hope to get out of this emotional gulf you have inadvertently placed yourself in, talk to her.

First sound her out; pick her brains on her views about the relationship, plans for the future as well as what she thinks about the blood oath.

From this point, you have to be very careful how you proceed with her and how you handle this situation.

Sounding her out, shall give you a complete picture into her feelings as well as her thoughts concerning the future of the relationship. This way, you will know what to say and how to present the issue to her.

At this crucial point, what you need is to come out with the truth. To do otherwise would only further complicate things in your lives.

If she isn’t into you as you claim; surely, she too maybe looking for a way out of the blunder both of you have committed.

By making an honest declaration that the reason for the oath was premised on selfish reasons and not a carefully thought at thing, you are giving her the open vista of the challenges that await both of you if you don’t come together to break it.

As much as possible; tell her about your unease, state of mind since the act and how wrong you think you in particular were to fathom such crazy idea.

This is the point you come out with the truth concerning your act. It could be you were scared of losing her to someone else; to ensure she remained yours for ever.

Whatever prompted you to ask for such highly spiritual covenant, she has a right to know.

Don’t lie about all the fears you had then and those you have now.

One of them, you must admit is the limitations it has placed on your socialization with members of the opposite sex. Let her know you feel very much like a prisoner to the oath.

No matter how bad she feels about the new development; she may not want to keep you tied to an oath against your will. If she is one woman who values her self worth and happiness, she will readily let go but if she isn’t you might have it very tough getting her to let go of you in which case, you have to pray ceaselessly to gain freedom from the prison you freely walked into.

Also, her attitude and reactions would also be moderated by what you intend to do with the relationship after the breaking of the oath. This is why you must be really clear and honest in all that you tell her.

If your reason is to let go of the relationship, don’t lie to her; be bold enough to tell her. the truth like I said before is, the sexual bond between a  man and woman equips the woman with the kind of spiritual power to deal with the man anytime she wishes. So, the issue here is not just about breaking the blood oath but about treating her with respect and sincerity.

Once you are truthful, you will get every support from her eventually even if at the beginning she appears uncooperative.

As for the question of whether a native doctor is required to break the oath, what for? It is bad enough that you had to resort to blood taking oath; don’t complicate your life with going to a native doctor to undo it. The two of you did it, the two of you should undo it on your own by asking for the forgiveness of God because of the blood and His mercy to overcome whatever repercussions your act might have provoked spiritually and physically.

Good luck.

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