Does he want me or my money?

With Agatha Edo, Email: womaneditor@independentngonline.com,gataedo@yahoo.com or agatha.edo@gmail.com Dear Agatha, I am a 23-year-old lady in a relationship with this very handsome man. He is a graduate and lucky to have got a job after his compulsory national youth service. I, on the other hand hasn’t been able to further my education as a result of my poor background. But there is something bothering me about him: whenever we are in bed, he turns his back to me instead of him to hold and cuddle me. Whenever I try to hold him, he pushes my hands off him. I want to know if he loves me. Secondly he is demanding N20,000.00 from me. I am confused. Nsi. Dear Nsi, Isn’t the answer to your question obvious? This man wants what he can get from you. Having defrauded you sexually, he is also desirous of fleecing you financially. The question is not what his intentions are but your own perception of what he really wants from you. Unfortunately, you are too blind by your emotions to see beyond the desires of your heart to preserve a relationship you don’t even have. Isn’t it obvious from his attitude towards you that you are nothing more than a willing bedmate he comes to when he has the desires for a female body? As far as he is concerned, you are just another face, someone to appease his sexual hunger; you could just have been another girl for all he cares. Men like him don’t consider the love of a woman as being important. If you are not there, he won’t miss anything because there will always be an agreeable girl for his likes. If you have N20,000.00, shouldn’t you be thinking of going back to school? Only very few young men are ready to take chances with a young uneducated lady. Even if they are prepared, will their families in this present age allow their sons to marry a lady whose best qualification is a secondary school leaving certificate? Unless you are serious with your life, has plans for yourself, you will never be able to rise about a certain level. Men you desire like your current bedmate will always treat you like dirt because you have nothing beyond your body to offer them. He is making a fool of you because he knows you are desperate to have him in your life. Whether you give him the money or not, he will still leave you once he is fed up of your body. That money can get you started in life if you are determined to earn your way into the hearts of men generally. Use your experience in the hands of this man as your motivation to success in life. With that money, get a form and enrol in a class that will prepare you for the Joint Admission Matriculation Board examinations. Learning has no age limit. Once you are able to gain admission into a university or polytechnic, you will be able to fund your way through school if you are the hardworking and innovative type. As long as you are contented, not interested in keeping a class you cannot afford, you will sail through with minimal stress. Problems come when young girls want to show class they don’t have. Provided you are determined, the sky becomes your stepping stone. Men like your current date will begin to rethink their old perception of you. They will begin to see beyond your body and look deeper into your mind to the future they can have with you. Irrespective of what men say, they want a woman who has a measure of independence, one they can show off to their friends and who can take charge when they are not around. You may be hard-working, but for a man who is a graduate, you may not have the kind of exposure he desires in his woman. Whatever it will cost you, end this relationship. It is pointless because this man doesn’t have any kind of respect for you. He doesn’t love you at all. Go before he destroys you for another man; extinguishes your self-confidence. It will be so unfortunate if this man through his treatment of you takes away your dream in your own abilities as a promising young lady. Leaving him will give you the chance for self -development and fulfillment as a young woman. Although you will feel some emotional discomfort for the time being, but overtime, you will be glad you did. The way others value us depends on how we value ourselves. If you don’t take steps to accord yourself some respect, no man will ever take you seriously. Good luck