Should I marry as HIV positive woman ?

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626 Dear Agatha, I am a lady of 26 years of age. I am worried, confused and afraid of going into a relationship because of my status. I am HIV positive, and most time when a man I really like approaches me for a relationship, I usually turn down such request, because of my status. Instead, I insist on being friends with such a man. With the way things are going in my life will I ever get married? Please I need your advice. Worried lady. Dear Worried Lady, Don’t condemn yourself on account of your status or help a man to make up his mind even before giving him a chance to know what the challenge before him is. Love has a way of making what appears imperfect become so perfect. There are some men and women who submit completely to the power and meaning of love no matter the package it comes in. These are the people who are ready to go the extra miles for the person they love. Haven’t you heard and seen very handsome or pretty women opting to marry extremely physically deformed persons on account of love? God in His wisdom has a way of balancing His acts. It is a simple matter of trusting Him completely. If you keep turning down every request made by men to date and get to know you, you will never get that important chance to discover the man meant for you. You have to give a man the chance to see beyond your looks, your status to the real you. The real you is what he is going to live with at the end of it all. Everything including sex, youth, beauty, health and agility will one day eventually fade away in life, but never the essence of one’s being. This is the part good and wonderful memories are made of – the part of our being that remains pure. How we live our lives, the kind of values and happiness we give to those around us come from here. For those who are deep and farsighted, this is what they look out for in their life partners. When the soul of a person is cast in solid gold of happiness and goodness, there is no way the partner will not overlook what he or she looks like on the outside. There is a huge life out there after testing positive to HIV. It is a matter of knowing what you want and going about it with a sense of huge responsibility. You won’ t be the first or the last. As long as you tell the man at the centre of your heart the truth concerning your status, give him a chance to make up his mind on whether to go ahead with you or not, then there is nothing to fear or ashamed of. The fact that you are HIV positive doesn’t necessarily make you promiscuous. The world is better informed these days sufficiently enough to know that there are other ways of contracting HIV that have nothing to do with sex. So also has the stigma and perceived horror of it reduced significantly. These days, the death sentence associated with the condition has given way to certain measure of optimism following break thorough in medical science on wonder drugs that can reduce the spread of the virus in the body. The boldness of certain people to tell the world the truth about their status and the good health they enjoy through the help of these drugs have also given hope to where none once existed. The result is a less fearful and tolerant society. More than anything else, a lot of people understand that despite testing positive to HIV, one can live a fairly normal life with an understanding partner. Besides having broken the barrier of being strangers to being friends, you can tell one or two people you know can for now keep your secret. The reason is to give yourself the needed boldness to face the reality of the situation on the ground. Honestly, this will determine your question of whether or not you will ever marry and have children. You will marry and have children if you stop taking pity on yourself by breaking the protective walls you have built around yourself. Break through come only after a spell of pains and disappointments. As a matter of fact, the stories are sweetest when they come after situations like yours. Learn to be more trusting in God and His unique ways because in His diction there is nothing called impossibility. When the right man comes, not even his family can stop him if God has ordered it. But you have to come out of your shell first. Good luck.