She’s older than me?

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626 Dear Agatha, First, I want to use this medium to comment on the good work you are doing. Keep it up. I am a man of 30 years of age, dating a woman, 33, and a single mother. Despite the age differences, she is very respectful. We have been dating for four months now and things are very perfect between us. She has contributed positively to my life as well as that of my family. The only draw back is our age differences. I don’t know what people will say about me. I am shy to work with her publicly. Please advise me on what to do. Shy Man. Dear Shy Man, There is nothing I say here that would help you if you don’t have the guts to align with your love. You must have confidence in your choice of a woman to be able to convince those around you that she is the only one for you. If you, who is supposed to be her support base, is shy, don’t want people to associate you with her, then there is no future for your relationship. If there is anybody making obvious the age differences between the two of you, it is you. If you don’t allow it to bother you, nobody would know about the age differences. More often than not people pick their reactions to issues from the signals we emit. As long as you make it clear to everybody that you don’t care if she is older or younger than you are, she remains your source of joy. And if the truth must be told, three years aren’t such phenomenal difference to make you very uncomfortable unless of course you don’t understand the dynamism of true love or there is something you are not comfortable with about her general appearance. If that is the case, it has nothing to per se to do with her age but that aspect of her you have problem with. By isolating that spot and dealing with it individually, you are able to resolve it without compromising the essence of the relationship. It might simply be a case of changing her dress sense. Removing one colour and replacing it with another or substituting one kind of cut for another that will give her the younger look. It could also be replacing one favourite hairstyle with another for that younger and promising look. Both of you can manage the information between both of you if you so desire and are truthful to your conscience. It is a matter of you both sitting down to discuss as truthfully as possible. As long as the issues in your relationship aren’t fundamental, trust me, this age thing can be tackled. And if the fear is how you would present a woman who already has a child to your family and friends, be definite and very honest about it as it will help clear a lot of clouds your attitude is generating. It is a matter of knowing what you want and going after it. Don’t forget that something about her disposition attracted you to her; give that thing a deeper thought and attention. It will help you focus on the true value of your relationship at all times. Do it urgently before it destroys the relationship beyond repairs. The evidence of her child shows, she has suffered disappointment in the past. Your attitude, if not properly refocused, would only open old wounds she has since buried. Only the truth can resolve this. Good luck.