He womanises, but still my dream guy

With Agatha Edo, Email: womaneditor@independentngonline.com gataedo@yahoo.com or agatha.edo@gmail.com, 08054500626 Dear Agatha, I am young, a Nigerian and in love with a Ghanaian. We are both in love with each other but I noticed he is always interested in having sex with me. Since I refused to have sex with him, he does elsewhere. He is a footballer and travels to many places. He also likes flirting with different girls. I don’t want to lose him because he is everything I want in a guy. Please help me before I lose my mind. Worried Girl. Dear Worried Girl, Unless you are ready to sleep with him, be prepared to lose him. This is because any man who cares about a woman doesn’t force her to do anything against her will especially if it has to do with sex. That he is sleeping with another woman while still in a relationship with you is enough evidence that capitulating to his demands will not stop him from flirting and having other affairs. At the end of the day, you will be the final loser because. after sleeping with you, you become like all the other women that have graced his bed, a mere statistic to add to his trophies of conquests. Given the kind of picture you have painted of him, such a man cannot be held down by sex because he still regards it as a form of recreation, fun as well as something he has a right to wherever he goes. In his current state of mind, every girl he sees is a good spot. He may like you in his own way but love? I doubt. This is because love goes hand in hand with respect and plenty of sacrifices. A man who is truly in love will understand why you are insisting on time to be ready and willing to endure the attendant restraints that go within the territory. That he isn’t afraid to advertise his interest in other women and the extent of his relationship with them tells a story of his own; one any sensible girl desirous of preserving her future must guard against. Should you allow yourself to be blackmailed into agreeing to what he wants and pregnancy occurs in the process, this kind of man will demand you abort the pregnancy. This is because he is having too much fun to want to be tied down to the apron strings of any woman or child for that matter. Until he begins to attach some responsibility, respect and value to the act of intimacy and you, be careful. One way you can help yourself become relevant to him is to be different from all the girls around him. Apart from insisting on not having sex, set your targets in life. Focus on growing and empowering yourself. If you are still in school, make education your priority. Become the best in your set. This way, you will not only show him that you have what it takes to excel but a material any man with senses should hold on to. By the time you make the right choices, he would be the one running after you, craving for your attention, afraid of losing you instead of you lapping after him. Make yourself a woman most men would want to have for life. It is the one of the most effective ways a woman can attract and keep the attention of a man. In addition to securing your position in life, it will help you give new meaning to your life, dreams and aspiration. Sex is cheap, when done without value, plans and for the fun of it. As with everything, when your season comes, you will wonder at the concern you put into something that isn’t worth it. There is no time you go to shop for sex that you won’t get it, but if you don’t devote time for improving your life, giving new meanings and challenges to it at its time, you will end up with more regrets than you can manage. Let this man know that your body and mind growth are more important to you than what he is offering you. Leave him. Don’t worry too much about his attitude towards you. See it as a way of helping you grow in responsibility. Next time he comes, tell him he is free to go since you will never submit to him until your season comes. If he is yours, he will wait for you but if he isn’t, you allow him go before you make the worst kind of mistake in your life. Good luck.