I’m in love with a married man but

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com,08054500626


Dear Agatha,

My boyfriend is married, I love him all the same, but he is hurting me by also dating other women.

What can I do?

Worried Girl.



Dear Worried Girl,

Stop denying the man’s wife the right to enjoy her marriage and man. If you are getting hurt on account of his relationships with other women, how do you think the wife feels by your own association with him? How do you think she feels when she wants her man, he isn’t there for her because he is with you? If you are feeling this bad as a girlfriend how would you feel if you were his wife, kill the women who are denying her of her rights as a wife and mother?

Do you realise that you are not only denying her time with her husband but also the resources he would have spent on the family as well? Can you fathom the kind of needless sacrifices that woman is making to make up for the time and money he uses to maintain you?

Have you ever sat down to wonder at the injury, pains, and aches you are causing this woman? In her shoes, how would you feel, pray for the woman who is making her work extra hard to maintain her home?

Now that you know what it feels to be betrayed by someone you are in love with, allow this man be. Sometimes, God allows things to happen to point us at the right things to do.

There is no way a man who is unfaithful to his wife will ever be faithful to a girlfriend. Whatever made him to go outside his marriage for fun are the same reasons he will continue to leave everywoman he has an affair with until he makes up his mind to be faithful to his vows.

This man isn’t in love with you that is why despite his many relationships he still goes back to the woman he is married to. He isn’t the one that is hurting you rather you are the one who has exposed yourself to being hurt by him. The fact that he is married, unavailable to you means you don’t have a joint future, should have cautioned you against taking whatever promises he is making to you serious.

Had he been single, your hurt would have been understandable, but he isn’t. So why waste time in a relationship that won’t add value to your life in the long run?

Before you get more hurt than you already are, take a walk away from it all. It would afford you the opportunity of meeting the real man for you. The more you hold on to him, the less your chances of becoming happy later in future and by the time you are ready to marry, the man you would have married would have become another woman’s husband.

This man has nothing to lose; rather you are the one who has more to lose if you continue with him. Men are hunters by nature and would always be excited by the sights of an available woman but it is the job of the woman to gate-keep her treasure to avoid disappointments, regrets and pains.

If you are unwilling to do it for yourself, do it for the sake of this woman whose marriage is at stake.

Good luck.