What can I do to my weak emotion?

Dear Agatha,

 I’m an ardent reader of your column and really like the way you help people with their issues.

My problem is that I’m too emotional, every little thing gets to me and people have capitalised on that to treat me anyhow. My ex-boyfriend treats me anyhow because he knows it gets to me, even to the extent of shedding tears. What will I do to overcome it? Secondly, I need a good male Christian who will understand me and treat me like a lady.

Worried girl.

Dear Worried Girl, 

Stop wearing your hurt on your face. By making your emotions obvious, you unwittingly arm people with the weapon to use against you. Life is a jungle where most people are forever looking for opportunity to harm or cause the other pains. There are people out there who are waiting patiently like a vulture for a clue into one’s frame of mind, life and thoughts to enable them know how to cause that person harm. 

At times they get their clue through deliberate provocation, which makes emotionally susceptible people like you easy targets. You just must develop the confidence in yourself not to allow anybody get under your skin. Develop a very thick skin to whatever life throws at you. Smile even when it hurts to protect yourself against those waiting in the wings to jubilate at your pains.

Your boyfriend as well as all the others who have hurt you one way or the other knows you are weak emotionally and lack the confidence to fight back.

By building your confidence, you position yourself to be heard and respected no matter the situation. Once these people know that you have the guts to challenge them, tell them off and refuse to be intimidated by their ways and attitude, they will think twice before dishing you a meal. 

As for you getting another man, you must first of all work on yourself before contemplating another relationship else you would end up having the same kind of problem. Nobody is saying you should be a bully or rude, the fact remains that life entails being able to be firm in more ways than one. Most men cannot withstand a ‘yes woman,’ who lacks the guts to stimulate or challenge them intellectually. Even though men claim they want docile women, the truth about relationship is that they want a woman who can get them standing on their toes, one they would miss when not around. By being constantly a ‘yes woman,’ you leave your man with nothing to miss or interesting to recall. It could be a very boring relationship. Whenever angry express it boldly don’t present yourself as a weakling. 

Good luck.