Help, I Can’t Woo Girl!

Dear Agatha,

Where in the world did you learn this talent of overcoming people’s problems?

I am a 20-year-old boy who since secondary school has had no relationship with a woman. I often ask my friends how they manage to talk women into having relationships with them. Some of my friends think my question funny. They ask if I am impotent. Agatha, it has nothing to do with impotency but my inability to chat up a girl who responds to my overtures. It is also confusing to me. I don’t know why it happens like that. Please help me if you can.

Lonely Boy.

Dear Lonely Boy,

All the glory for whatever I am doing here rightly belongs to God. He is the problem solver not me. I am only doing His bidding. You are having this problem because deep down you have this morbid fear that you don’t have what it takes to keep this girls. Unless you overcome your sense of limitations, inadequacy and fear of embarrassing yourself in the presence of a woman, you would never be able to chat up a woman.

One of the ways to challenge this restriction in your life is to accept the fact that we are all prone one time or the other to mistakes and making fools of ourselves. Ask a lot of men. They would tell you that the first time they talked to a woman was very difficult and frightening because it was an entirely new terrain.

The guts to withstand the cold stare of the woman: her arrogance, and sometime outright rudeness is what you need. Brave it because underneath the façade of indifference and toughness most women put up the first time a man approaches them, is a soft and friendly side.

The worst, a woman can do is to tell you off. She is only exercising her prerogative. Move on to one who would receive your interest with happiness.

Being honest, simple and factual would work better magic for you than any word. Don’t worry too much about it. Chatting a woman up is one of the initiations you have to confront in your journey towards manhood.

Next time on seeing a girl you like, start by limiting your interest to general topics like the weather, political and social development in the country before talking about her person and your interest. Your interest should only be tabled when you are both sufficiently accommodating.

Good luck.