Choosing My Wife From The Duo Nags Me…

Dear Agatha,             

I must commend your efforts in handling issues pertaining to relationships. I’m in my late 20s and a student. There is this girl I fell in love with in my first year. She didn’t give in to my request till my third year. Before she came, someone else has crept into my life. This new girl loves and cares for me as if I were a baby even when she’s aware we can’t marry due to tribal differences. According to my parents I can only marry a woman from my tribe. She wants to enjoy every moment we have together while we’re together.

The first girl is still on my mind especially now that she is in love with me. Besides, she is from my tribe.   

Agatha, I don’t know what to do. I love both girls though the one from my tribe is hot-tempered and stubborn I don’t want to lose both.

Ken.

Dear Ken, 

There is no way you can have both women in your life. You simply have to make the choice of the one who meets your requirement of the kind of woman you have always wanted in your life. 

Marriage isn’t a tribal thing rather it is motivated by both parties having the same kind of ideas and temperament to live together as one. 

Even if a couple comes from the same kindred, if they lack those basic qualities to live under the same roof as man and wife, cannot communicate without having an unresolved disagreement, shout at each other, insensitive to the position of the other within the union, then there is no marriage. The language of marriage revolves around friendship, respect and responsibility. Without any of these, no matter how much love is professed, it won’t work. 

There is also the issue of you loving both of them. What do you understand by love? What shade of love are you talking about here? Between interest and love, there are different kinds of feelings many of us mistakenly call love. There is no way you can love these two girls. You may be in love with one and infatuated by the other but to say you are in love with both of them shows you also have to tutor yourself on what you want and understand by the feelings you feel for these ladies. 

Therefore, there is the need for you to take a retreat to fathom what you really want from life. If you don’t have a personal plan and the blueprint, it would be almost impossible for you to recognise the kind of woman you need to help you achieve it. 

It is only after you have done this that you will be able to determine the kind of girl who will make you happy. In your interest, be sure you know what you want to avoid making the choice of a woman you will later regret. 

Good luck. 

Re: My Premium Partner Too Scary To Have Sex

Dear Agatha, 

You are simply wired to do what you are doing through your column. Your response to Mr. Worried Man is apt. Let him discover the power of the touch. He and his wife will have a new perspective to lovemaking. Let him discover her vulnerable spots and she is bound to explode with pleasure. Welcome to the club! My wife is a Xerox-copy of this man’s wife but when I discovered the importance of feel, she lost her reserve in the bedroom. Imagine we both got married as virgins. But I keep reading. I read your regularly and have learnt so much. I never stop reading and learning. I never desire to remain in my comfort-zone psychologically; I break out of my cocoon. I think out of the normal, out of the box and desiring to do the unusual. Your wife is your song; you are her dance. Make her read the Songs Of Solomon. Make her sing your song. Oh yes you can! You are her leader. Remember once you’ve passed your doctrine of sexual necessity, she will have no option than to flow along with your rhythm. 

Good luck.

Adayi.

Lonely Hearts

Dear Agatha,

Please I need your help I am a young man of 35 years of age, 5.7 inches tall, fair, romantic, gentle, honest, God fearing and above all hard working. Please I need a good-looking, kindhearted working class woman who will love me not because of what I have but for whom I am. Because I really want to get married soon, I need to date her for seven months before that. She should be between 28 to 35 years old. 

Agatha, please help me. My email is emekanwachukwu13@yahoo.com

Kenny.

My name is Fred. I’m tall, dark and 29 years old. I’m from the eastern part of the country.

I’m a graduate. I work and reside in Lagos. I’m looking for a lady: a good listener, humble, educated, goal-getter and a focused mind. She can come from any part of the country, but must be resident in Lagos. Must be within the ages of 22-30 years. I am for a serious relationship.

Interested ladies could reach me on 08062415199 or judenex@yahoo.com. I can also be reached on Facebook via my e-mail add.

Fred,, Lagos.