I must really thank you for all the uncountable problems you have been solving through your column. God will bless you.
I have had sex with only two girls in my life, my ex and my current girlfriend. When I started having sex with my ex, I usually came too quickly in my first round and I would lose my erection. But after a minute or two I would gain it back and end up satisfying her just as she satisfied me.
But with my new girl, the reverse is the case. After my first round which I usually came too quick, 30 seconds, I find it hard to gain back my erection. My partner finds it frustrating as this has happened a couple of times. She has severally also tried to help me gain back my erection after my awful start, but all her efforts always end as failure.
I am now thinking of going on sex enhancing pills to go marathon. Please I need your help, as this has never happened until now.
Tochi.
Dear Tochi,
No two persons are alike. What works with one person may not work with another person. Simply because your first girlfriend can resuscitate you after going down in the first few seconds of your having sex with her doesn’t mean the next woman can.
You both must understand each other’s body as well as psychological well being to enjoy intimacy together.
Again, it also depends on what sex means to both of you. There is a whole world of difference between a couple having sex and the one making love.
Every living creature has sex, but only humans have the ability to translate sex into lovemaking. No matter how wide our experiences are the ability to patent our performance is what gives the act excitement with the person we share intimacy with at any particular moment.
That your first girlfriend could cope doesn’t mean any other woman can cope with the situation. The problem here seems to be your refusal to get acquitted with the package, that is your new woman. Trying to import your experiences from your previous relationship into your new one would not work at all.
For there is to be union between your bodies and souls, you both must first share your previous experience in sex with each other, your challenges as well as your advantages and preferences.
When a man and woman decide to sleep with each other, all pretences and condemnations must be left outside the bedroom. At the point two adults decide to strip before each other, even if both are coming with zero experiences, it is a point of no return, where both must face the journey they have elected to go together with naked honesty.
To achieve premium performance you and your new girlfriend must first share your limitations. Let her know you have a problem of sustainability of erection beyond 60 seconds. Share with her your former experiences and how you overcame it. Listen to her story too and how you can help her overcome it as well.
The next step is to discover each other’s erotic zones before the act. The best way is to explore through touch. In the bedroom, shyness is considered an abomination; hence the couple should be free to explore each other’s body like a book. The gain of such examination is the amount of satisfaction that follows afterwards during the real act. It makes it easier for the other person to know when to come in with help aids for better performance.
For instance, if your partner knows your other erotic zones aside the one you are used to, it would be beneficial to both of you. Let her begin from the crown of your head to the sole of your feet. By the time she finishes her exploration, both of you would have discovered more exciting zones on your body than you previously thought. You should also perform the same ritual on her.
With this knowledge, you armed yourself with useful information on how to help each other achieve better sexual performance. Outside the exploration, you also need helpful insights from books to upgrade your performance. It is often wrong and very presumptuous for men especially to assume they know it all. Like every venture in life, lovemaking must be symbiotic to achieve its goal in a relationship.
Unless you have a medical problem, which you must first clear with the doctor, the only sex enhancing pill you need to perform at premium level, is to be liberal minded.
Good luck.
Lonely Hearts
Dear Agatha,
I thank God for using you to help mankind. God will continue to bless you.
I am a decent lady of 33 years based in Abuja. I am from Ekiti State, working and schooling. I am in need of a born-again man for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage, the man must be working or into business and should be from South West. I could be reached throughdorcasbiyi@yahoo.com
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