How Do I Avoid Women Forever?

Dear Agatha,

Thanks for your concern towards people’s problems. To be frank, I don’t want any girl in my life for now because many girls have hurt me beyond measure. 

The question I want to ask now is whether it is possible for me to avoid women completely? 

Okey.

Dear Okey, 

Hearts are meant to be broken, but also to be mended. There is hardly an adult heart that hasn’t gone through the process of disappointments, pains and rejections. These are what toughens a heart, gives it character, history and values. 

The process of dating is a game, one which one either emerges as the victor or the loser. When one loses, good wisdom demands you move on, take stock of your mistakes with the view of avoiding those mistakes in a subsequent relationship. 

God created us to exist in pairs, and unless you are sworn to celibacy, there is no way you can avoid women. 

The issue here is not the women, but the kinds you seem to be attracted to. What kind of women appeal to you? What kind of woman do you think have the power and qualities to keep you happy? Chances are your choice of women is the one bringing you so much disappointment. There is no way you will not be having the same problems with these women if they all have the same qualities.

Therefore, to help you come out of these disappointments, there is the need for you to go after a different kind of woman, very dissimilar to the ones you are used to. To achieve this, look beyond what she looks like on the outside to what she is in the inside; look for her strength of character, her person and passion. A woman beautiful inside will always be considerate, never deliberately hurt her partner, avoid what makes the partner unhappy and will always put the interest of her partner first before her own.

Unfortunately, it takes more than a passing interest to recognise this kind of woman, it takes dedication on the part of the man to discover the hidden qualities of this woman. To meet this kind of woman requires you begin by offering her friendship. This way you offer yourself the rare opportunity of seeing and knowing her as a person before going into a relationship with her. 

Friendships enable a couple to begin without the pressure of trying to impress at all cost. When a woman knows the man is seizing her up for a relationship, there is the tendency for her to hide her true nature, but in a friendship, she is relaxed enough to reveal her true nature. 

By the time you know what actually gives you happiness in a woman, you will be more than ready to forget all the pains of your previous mistakes and give yourself the chance to make the right choice.

Good luck.