Don’t Know What Girls Mean By ‘God Fearing Man’

Dear Agatha,

Well done for the good counselling you are giving to people. Even though, I sincerely believe that you need to use this great opportunity and avenue to draw people back and more to Biblical standards, and hence to God through Christ Jesus. Most, of these problems they keep telling you have already been solved in the Holy Scripture, The Bible. Moreover we are in the last days, rapture can take place any time now, you know. 

Before I conclude I need to get your view concerning an issue, which is, what do women really want? Every one of them says she needs a God fearing man, as the number one quality in a desired mate. But, when it comes to the real fear of God, according to the unadulterated standards of the Bible, like: 

• One must be saved (salvation) and experiences the transformation that makes one hate sin (being born again). 

• Believers (Christians) should not marry unbelievers. 1Corinthians7:39 ‘Only in the Lord’, 2 Corinthians 6:14-18. 

• No partying (revelries) – Galatians 5:21, 1 Peter 4:3. 

 • No efffeminism / minism (i.e. no wearing of trousers by women, wearing of earrings by men, etc), Deuteronomy 5:22, 1Corinthians 6:9 KJV. 

• Show godliness inside out (no near nakedness and provocative dressings); Luke 6:45, 1Timothy 2:9-10. 

• Wonderfully, fearfully, marvellously, hence completely made, so no enhancement like weave-on, wigs, hair extensions, nail paint, lipstick Psalm 139:14, Isaiah 30:22. 

• No alcohol, cigar, cigarette, and Indian hemp e.t.c., Leviticus 10:9-10, Proverbs 20:11. 

• No love and craze for money, Proverbs 28: 20, 22, 1Timothy 6: 9-10. 

• Be an active member of a Bible believing church, Acts 2: 42, 1John 1:7. 

• No disobeying the Bible, no sin, no fornicating, adultery, touching a woman e.t.c, 1Corinthians 7:1, Galatians 5:19-21. 

And many more of such, they start complaining, shouting, pointing fingers, finally they chicken out and sneak out. What then is God fear mean to woman? A brother with the above mentioned believes is a no go area to a lot of women who are looking for good guys and God fearing men. What then is being God fearing?                

Bro Colin Aduah. 

Dear Bro. Colin Aduah, 

Being God fearing goes more than abiding by all that have been written. It is about being at peace with God and man as well as giving respect to the feelings of the other person. Who is a Christian and who is a born again? Can a house divided against itself and stand? The heart of man is in the hands of God, who sees all things.

Many a time, some people become obnoxious about their views to the extent they fail to see the qualities God Himself invested in the other person. God isn’t one to cause confusion among His children. Many Christians have today become Christians of doctrines, refusing to see anything good in any other person and always out to criticise and judge.

Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself said we should not judge to avoid being judged by God Himself. The Bible is also specific on the place of Wisdom in our relationship with God and people around us. If a man who wants a woman sees nothing good in her, always out to frustrate her efforts, reminds her of her mistakes rather than lovingly teach her the essence of Jesus coming, which in itself is entrenched in love and sacrifice, of what use is such a man to the woman?

The average woman wants to be appreciated, loved and supported by her man but in a situation where the Bible is used by the man interested in her as a weapon of condemnation rather than a shield of defence, protection, love, mercy, favour, grace and a signpost to the person of the awesomeness of God, then it goes without saying that such a relationship wouldn’t work. It is this very attitude of insensitivity that is causing problems among the body of Christ, when doctrines are put high and above the teachings of Christ, when condemnation takes over from patience and selfless, when God’s wisdom are neglected for self-righteousness. If we are all to go before God the way we are, none of us will withstand the fury and guilty verdict of God. We are all here because of the grace His blood offers.

To appreciate the other person more, a lot of us have to learn to extent this grace to our loved ones to change. Change isn’t something that is enforced, but gently negotiated.

When a woman demands for a God fearing one, she is not looking for perfection or a saint but a man who knows what it is like to make mistakes, fall and rise to the glory of God. She is looking for a man whose heart is in tune with God, who is patient, selfless, loving, caring, understanding, loyal and above all her friend. Who will in love correct her and not one who is forever pointing out her faults? She is looking for one who knows laws were made for man and not man for the laws and that God in His infinite wisdom has not made us slaves to the law, but freeborn to exercise the laws to the glory of His name. 

A woman wants a man who will first of all treat her as human being who has the powers to think and make wise decisions and not one who has to wait to be given orders before she can move. She wants a man who will always be there for her and not one who is full of doctrines and lacking in knowledge of what it is like to be a friend and partner as well as the real fear of God in his heart. There is a huge line of difference between having real fear of God and doctrinal fear of God. Real fear comes from knowledge borne out of a personal relationship with God as opposed to that fear premised on doctrines without the naked experience of the nature and person of God. The man who has the real fear of God is the kind of man who has the heart that appeals to the woman because his actions would be guided by wisdom and knowledge of God.

On not using this page to draw people to Biblical Standards, I don’t know what you mean by that, but one thing you should appreciate is, this page isn’t religious. I deal with both Christians and none Christians alike. I also deal with those who don’t belong to any of the major religions. 

I try my best to be fair to my conscience in line with my faith in Jesus by striving to be balanced in my submissions to all those who entrust me with the aches of their hearts. 

Good luck.