Dear Agatha,
The good Lord will continue to enrich you with wisdom as you continue to shoulder other people’s burden.
My problem has to do with my status as a job applicant. I am a young man of 27 years of age. I am from the eastern part of the country, but reside in Lagos.
I was in a relationship for five years with a lady I met while in school. I loved her so much that I always take her back even when I know she has been with other men.
I knew it wasn’t that she didn’t love me, but was dating other men because she felt I still had a long way to go. Being schoolmates she felt after graduation, I would still have to serve the nation, search for a job, save some money before I would be ready to take on the responsibility of caring for a family. Besides, her parents, according to her, were already mounting pressure on her to settle down. She also told me that a man had already paid her bride price without her consent to a man that has the support of her parents.
But for the grace of God, I wouldn’t have been among those who graduated because I almost lost my mind at the time. You can therefore imagine my pains when she later confessed that all she told me were lies.
In school, we were recognised by different bodies and organisations as best couple, which included the Student Union Government, my faculty, and department. We were the envy of everybody on campus so much so every couple desired to be like us.
It was so funny because these people didn’t know what I was coping with in the relationship or going through in her hands. In her own way she showed me love and could be good when she wants to.
At the moment, she is in one of the states in the Northern part of Nigeria for her National Youth Service Corps (NYSC). She has stop calling, doesn’t return my calls or text, and when she picks my calls, talks to me as if I’m a stranger.
At the moment, it is not easy hooking up with another woman, because the moment they realise I don’t have a job they start behaving funny. Some will say they aren’t interested anymore while others don’t even bother to give any reason. This is the cross I have been carrying, because I don’t have a job.
I have actually been applying, spend most of my time surfing the Internet and praying to God! I have written series of aptitude tests. I studied Mathematics and Computer Science. Is there anyone who can employ me?
Agatha, can I still find a lady who can actually take me for who I am?
Interested ladies can reach me on 08068579633 or 07070999249 or E-mail: judenex@yahoo.com
Fred.
Dear Fred,
Life is all about perseverance. Good things don’t come easy in life most times it takes patience to get to one’s goal.
Your life with your ex is a closed chapter. Leave it in the past and move on. From her attitude she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you anymore, wants to move on and I think you should take your cue from her.
Granted her reasons appear cold-blooded, but the truth remains that when a man dates a woman who is his classmate, their chances of getting married is dicey for the very reasons she gave you.
By the time she is ready to settle down, you will not be ready at all, because as a man, there are certain structures you must put in place to enjoy your marriage.
When a woman is ready for marriage, love isn’t the only thing that matters to her, such things as the viability of the man comes to play. Except in very rare cases where the lady is really in love and ready to endure so many things with the man, in majority of cases, especially in contemporary societies, the man must first show a proof of his ability to care for a wife and child. At least to assure his in-laws of their daughter’s wellbeing that she isn’t going to suffer.
A man must always be in a position to provide for his wife, no matter how small. At the end of the day, it is what earns him his respect as the head of his home.
There is no contesting the fact that a lot of these girls are rejecting you on account of your present status, but it also depends on the quality of women you are concentrating on. If these women fall within the age groups of those who are desperate to marry, in your present state, you don’t have anything to offer them. Hence would continue to reject you on account of this. But if they are younger with longer on the shelf lifespan, you are more likely to enjoy better reception from them.
At any rate, none of these women is yours. When the right woman comes your way, she would stay irrespective of what your social status is.
Whatever you do, continue to trust God that He knows what is best for you and would at the end of the day, make things work for you.
Good luck.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment