She wants me every day

Dear Agatha,

I’m 17 and in love with a girl who in feels the same way about me.

We are both in the same class and school.

One day, a friend of mine came with a weird suggestion in the presence of my girlfriend. According to my friend, he would love to have sex with his girlfriend in the presence of my girl.

I was not only upset but very embarrassed at this and I told him so. We almost quarreled; at the end of the day, he apologized for making such suggestions in the presence of my girlfriend.

The next day, my girlfriend started behaving strangely like someone missing something. I asked what the matter was.  It took her awhile to tell me but she eventually did. To my shock, she said I wasn’t meeting up to her expectations. According to her, she expects me to hug and kiss her every morning I come to school, stay with her always and tell her love stories as well as make love to her as often as possible.

What do I do?

Troubled Boyfriend

Dear Troubled Boyfriend,

I presume you are still in secondary school and that your school isn’t without teachers and administrative officers.

I also want to believe your school be it private or public, has some set of rules governing the conduct of students within the walls of the school.

I also want to assume that you are in school to get education for the sole reason of positioning yourself for success in the future.

Perhaps, you may not know the value of the education you are getting now but if you care to look around you for examples of what good education or lack of it can do, look at the touts at the motor parks or the toil of the labours, drivers, security men, cart pushers and a host of others who are forced to take these jobs because they lack the educational qualifications to do be executives or even go into politics.

You are lucky to be in school; there are several like you out there whose parents cannot even afford the essentials for them to even attend a free school.

What is so special about a woman’s body that you are willingly to mortgage your entire future for her? At 17, what do you know about love? What business do you have with sex? Do you have what it takes to deal with the consequences of sex? Come to think of it, what do you know about the ways of women to get so involved with one who isn’t bothered about her education?

How do you intend romancing and kissing her in school without being caught? What would you tell your parents if you fail to make your papers at the end of your days in school because you elected to follow your girlfriend around like a puppy? What time would you have to go for your classes, study and read for examinations if you are daily reading her love stories and enacting the scenes in the story line? Is this the kind of man you want to be; one that has no mind of his own; whose sense of reasoning is subject to what the woman in his life wants?

Grow up boy and face this fact about life. Women don’t identify with failures, which is what you would be if you don’t get your priorities right now. If you are unable to make your papers, this lady who is demanding for your soul will move on to another man; one who has is successful and has the means to look after her.

If at her age, she is already making such heavy demands of sex from you, you can bet your life that she is more experienced in that field than you are. You certainly are not in her league even though you appear to serve her purpose now.

Let her know you aren’t gamed and that you want to concentrate more on your studies because if you miss your opportunity to make your papers, you will have to put in thrice as much efforts to make it later. Some people I know, have been trying to get their bearings back since they allowed their opportunities to pass them by just like you are contemplating doing, but they never did until all their former classmates graduated from the university. The frustration of seeing one’s former classmates forging ahead while you have nothing to show for yours can be very dehumanizing. So think about your parents, yourself before you agree to such obnoxious demands by your girlfriend.

The fact too that she didn’t protest the proposition of your friend should have alerted you to her passion. A normal girl would have slapped your friend for such an outright insult.

Women will never be out of fashion so also is sex. At your right time, you will have more than enough to pick from.

This is your time to plant so that you can reap good harvest later in life.

Have you considered the fact that she could get pregnant? Do you have what it takes to be a father? I understand all the hormones confusing your system but the hallmark of a man with character is one, who has mastered the game of self control.

Yes, love at 17 can seem to be a real dream come true but its concomitant consequences could scar you for life. The scorch is the kind that overshadows immensely the brightness of the future.

Be careful you don’t become a victim of your own desires.

Insist you don’t have the luxury of time to execute all those things she demands of you and that you want to concentrate on passing your examinations very well so that admission into the university won’t be so much of a problem.

When you are ready to have a girlfriend, you won’t labour too hard to get the one that will support you to grow and not this one who isn’t focused on what is important at this time of her life.

Good luck.

I can’t attract a lady

Dear Agatha,
I’m 30 years, single but without a steady source of income. As a result, I cannot attract a lady.

 It isn’t as if I’m not good in bed or not adequately endowed but I just don’t have the cash to maintain a relationship. As a result, I resort to helping myself through masturbation. 

But I’m tired of it and
want a lady who can give me sexual   satisfaction without demanding
for cash. 

Agatha, I hate the word ‘sugar mummy’ but that’s exactly what
I want from any part of the country. This is my number, 08134747775. 

Desperate man.

Dear Desperate Man,

Are you certain the only reason you don’t have a girlfriend is because you don’t have a steady means of income or that you are only using it as an excuse to achieve your desire of being a kept man?

For a man who does not have a steady means of income, shouldn’t your concern be how to get a job and earn a respectable income rather than seeking out a sugar mummy?
If true you are a looking for a woman who will bear with you, it isn’t sugar mummy you will be seeking as there are still good girls who will over look your financial status and agree to your girlfriend.

Not every woman is shallow minded to scorn a humble beginning with a man but often than not, some of the challenges that come up in a relationship has to do with the insincerity of either one of the parties or on the part of the couple.

If you cannot tell yourself the truth, you will never find a cure for your aliment. You are who you are because it is a choice you made.

It has nothing to do with your current financial position because men who are in far worse situation still find women to share their beds.

You want a sugar mummy because you think it is the easiest way for you to make money as a man and not on account of your inability to attract a young lady.

Good luck.

Share a problem With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com Tel: 08054500626