Why do women like men who tell lies?

Dear Agatha, I am an Engineer working with a construction company. I am 33 years old and desire to settle down but I have issues with finding the right girl. I am disciplined, responsible and focus. Please I would like to ask you two questions. Firstly, why do most women like men who lie or claim what they are not? Secondly, why is it that when a man tells a girl he loves her, she ends up taking him for granted like in my case? My friends too are having the same problems in their relationships. Please Agatha how do I get a girl who will reciprocate my love for her and love me for who I am? At my age, I do not want to do what I did in the University. I want an everlasting marriage and do not want to have children outside marriage. I believe lying to a girl is laying a wrong foundation. Sidney. Dear Sidney, It is a very wrong assumption to make. It is really the other way round. Men think lying to women would give them the edge over their rivals for the woman’s heart and hand. The truth is, whether a man lies or not about his affluence, only a woman interested in him will at the end of the day fall in love with him. So a man really sure of himself and dreams doesn’t have to lie to attract and retain the woman after his heart. If your assumption were true, poor men won’t have women to call their own. That men without deep pockets are getting pretty and wonderful women as wives shows that women too are not looking for playboys or showy men for husbands. Deep down in the heart of most women is that desire to marry for love and peace in their marriages; not necessarily for money. If some women like being lied to, it is only because the men are ready to be played for fools and that such women too don’t have plans for themselves. When a man comes across such a woman, the best thing is to move as fast as his legs can carry him because it shows the woman is sightless and would be a burdento the man. A woman sure of herself will not place her success in the hands of anybody. This attitude isn’t limited to women; there are some men who also like being lied to. Therefore, it isn’t a function of the gender but that of attitude of the individual. Furthermore, it also depends on the kind of women you are meeting and the decisive factors you are placing on the front burner. If you are in the habit of looking at the physical beauty of a woman than her inner beauty, chances are you will keep experiencing the attitudes of women who place vanity above value. Granted that every woman has traces of vanity, but the truth is, most men actually encourage women to be very vain and materialistic. Since winning the heart of a woman is an ego thing, most men think lying about themselves and status give them the edge over their competitors. They give the woman they want all the impression in the world that he controls the nation. I am sure if you pay detailed attention to the qualities of the woman you are interested in; not caring so much about her appearance, you will end up with a woman you can talk to and plan around. It is a matter of you too knowing what you really want from life and marriage. Are you the kind of man who wants a showcase wife, the kind you put on display, you want to flaunt; one who is all beautiful but is lacking in character and substance? Or do you want the kind of woman who has the character and substance to compliment your nature? Just like we have all manner of products in the market, so are different kinds of women out there. Men and women suffer disappointments because often time, they go for choices that do not compliment their natures at all. It is a matter of you looking for the woman that has the intellect and wisdom to manage your person. Therefore in your search make certain things absolute clear to yourself; those things you want in a woman. As long as you don’t compromise, are sure of what you want from a woman you are meeting for the first time, you will eventually find the right woman who will accept you for what and who you are. In this whole game, honesty is the watch word. It takes an honest man to find a sincere woman. It is also pertinent you realize that no relationship is perfect. Be prepared at all time to bend backwards to accommodate the shortcomings of your partner as well. We all come with manufacturer’s defects. Once you appreciate that you are as imperfect as the woman you are interested in, you place your relationship on a platform of better survival from the begining. Once two people are in love, it is natural for both of them to take each other for granted. I think the question you want to ask is why do women leave things to chance once they are in love? It is a simple matter of being secured in the love of her man. Frankly, it is normal to the nature of man to get careless and take things for granted once he or she is secured. There is usually this feeling of confidence that comes from knowing a man really cares. It gives the woman so much confidence and authority to know that her zone is protected. Yes, the woman can get corrupted by that confidence to misbehave but in such situation, the man should lovely call her to order by pointing her at the mistakes she is making. A couple must be able at all time discuss every issue that comes up in their relationship. This way, they grow the confidence and trust to paddle the canoe of their relationship without fear of it capsizing along the road. A man doesn’t have to be violent to set the limits in the relationship. With love and respect for his woman, a man can effectively draw the line in his relationship. What most men don’t know is the fact that everywoman needs a man she can respect in her life- one who is in charge without any display of force. If you notice your girlfriend is taking you for granted, let her know how you feel about her attitude immediately. It will help her make the necessary adjustment. Always strive for complete honesty in whatever you do. From the very beginning, don’t give the woman you meet any false hope. Let her know who you are. If you have a temper, don’t hide it or pretend to like something you definitely cannot cope with in the long term. A serious minded woman wants a man who is interested in her own development. Rather than impress her by taking her to social and ostentatious places be moderate in your tastes even if you have the money to splash on her. Get to first know everything about her; her growing up years, family history, likes and dislikes as well as her dreams for the future. Your ideal woman is the one that is ready to accept you for who and what you are. Don’t ever lie to any woman: it isn’t worth it. Good luck. Lonely Heart Dear Agatha, I am a student of University of Uyo. I will love to be linked with a nice lady who is ready to love me for who I am for a serious relationship. An interested lady can reach me on; 08169603636 or my email; velijo@ymail.com. Joe.