He wants her at all cost

Dear Agatha, There is this cousin to my neighbour who is asking my sister out. My sister is in a serious relationship and didn’t hide this fact from this man. Despite this, he insists on dating her. He says he does not care and that he won’t give up on his desire to date her. He offers my sister gifts which I always tell her to refuse to avoid problems in future especially with her boyfriend. Recently, her phone went bad and he’s offering to buy her a new one. He is also offering to help her get an international passport. Will it be right for her to accept gifts from him? Loveth. Dear Loveth, You are right to be wary of her receiving gifts from this man. There is no point toying with the food she isn’t ready to eat. To do that would be to court trouble and bring pains to herself eventually. Besides, one of the cardinal rules in life is contentment. Anybody who isn’t satisfied with what he or she has, risks losing everything at the end of the day. She has to learn from this early in her relationship and life to be comfortable with whatever she has. For a woman; this is really important as her man, no matter how rich can never give her everything in life. There will always be something a man, no matter how affluent, will not be able to give to his woman. It could be having the time to be with her. For any relationship to succeed, every woman must be faithful to her heart and choice. She must learn to have faith in her man. For her to be so serious with her current boyfriend; it means he has something to offer her as well as the fact that they have found joy and peace in each other’s company. If she is wise, she must do everything to protect this relationship and not fall prey to the temptation that this man offers. The sad thing about all this, is the possibility of her never finding a man to be serious with her if through her capitulations to this new man’s pressures, she loses her boyfriend. Good and responsible men are hard to find these days. In addition, money isn’t everything. A man may have money but could be lacking in those essentials a woman needs in her relationship to be happy. That man trying by all means to buy her love with presents is convinced beyond reasonable doubts that every woman has her price. He is determined to have her to prove that point. Chances of him giving her the kind of respect she wants from a man are very slim. He would always wonder at her honesty and loyalty especially around men who are more prosperous than he is. He would always hold on to this opinion of her that, since he could buy her off a serious relationship with gifts, all another interested man has to do for her to fall for him, is to flash her with money. I am sure this isn’t the kind of reputation she wants for herself. Let her know that the best gift she can give herself is respect. No matter how difficult things her with current boyfriend, she should learn to endure. She isn’t a cattle that goes to the highest bidder; she is a woman who is in love and true love is priceless. If this man has any respect for her, he won’t be trying so hard to make her break her relationship with the other man. A reasonable man would have backed off once knowing of her existing relationship. The fact of the matter is this; the moment she capitulates to this man’s pressures, if another woman comes his way, he would dump her like a sucked orange and go for the other woman because deep down, he has won the bet he entered into with himself. Let her know, this guy is on an ego trip to use whatever means to win the battle of her heart. Besides, once she begins to accept his gifts, she would be under the obligations to do whatever he demands of her. There is no way she can insist on anything. The best thing is not to commit herself to him by refusing anything from him. This way she would earn his respect the more. I am sure if this man didn’t come her way; she would have found a way around her phone problem by repairing it. As her elder sister, remove her from temptation way by asking her to relocate for the time being. She really must resist the temptation to remain happy. Encourage her to pray because for some women; this is the point they get it all wrong in life. Just one small mistake can change the course of things for her. Also, how will she explain the gifts to her boyfriend? What message signals will she be communicating to both the new man and her boyfriend by accepting these gifts? Even if there is nothing between them at the end of the day, she would have done a significant damage to her relationship by accepting those gifts because her boyfriend will never completely trust her again. Even if she is tired of her relationship, there are better ways of ending a relationship without compromising her reputation. Good luck.