I don’t want to marry a white woman

Dear Agatha, God bless you for what you are doing in the lives of many people. I am a young man of 29 years of age but not in any relationship. I will be traveling out of the country to join my brother in business. Please, advice me on what to do because I don’t want to marry a white woman. Worried Man. Dear Worried Man, Why are you preempting fate? You may not want to marry a white lady but if God has decreed otherwise, you cannot stop it from happening. Besides, there are black women every where in the world. Gone are the days when a particular race dominated a particular part of the world: globalisation of the world means every nationality is represented in every space of the earth. You can get your choice of women from whatever part of the world you live. Besides, the internet and enhanced telecommunication facilities make it easier these days to conduct a long distant relationship from any part of the world. But if you feel so strongly about not marrying a native of your host country, you can begin something with a woman after your heart while you are still here and continue even when you are in your host country. It is a matter of you being faithful to her by calling her as frequently as you can afford. But we know that once couples part and one of them goes abroad, the necessity to stay alive often than not, comes between them. Usually men go into fake marriages to circumvent migration laws and requirements of their host countries. Usually the woman left behind, is the one that suffers the emotional torture of having a husband who lives abroad but cannot come home to be with her or ask her over. Is this an alternative you want to try? However, rather than worry about a future you cannot predict, why not concentrate on the business at hand; that of going abroad to learn the ropes of your brother’s kind of business? There is no way you can combine business and romance. One would have to wait for the other. Particularly, as you are going into a strange land to learn; this itself, is a major challenge of cultural integration. You may not have the time to sustain a relationship especially in the early months as you would be too busy getting to adjust to your environment, learning how to do business in the country as well as learning the ropes of the business your brother wants you to help out with. Chances are, you may not be romantically inclined for about six months as a result of all the issues that await a foreigner in a strange land. By the time you are ready, you would have settled sufficiently to allow nature do its work of match-making. So, take the step of going there first before worrying about who becomes your bride. Rather than limit your focus to the colour of the skin of the woman, ask God to give you a woman who will always make you happy irrespective of the situation. Pray God gives you a good wife to help you become who you have always wanted to be. Of what use is a marriage to a woman with the right pigmentation of skin but has the worst kind of character? Which would you rather have? A woman’s character builds her home. This is most important than the colour of her skin. Good luck.