I married the father, pregnant for the son

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626 Dear Agatha, There is no name you will call me that I haven’t called myself. I feel so ashamed, but I cannot help myself. My husband of one year is 26 years older than I am, while his first son is two years my senior. His first wife is late. We met when he came to visit the father of my best friend. Through my friend he got my number and since he was loaded, I went against the counsel of my family and friends to marry him. I have always told anyone that cared to listen that, I would marry for money and not love because of what my mother went through in the hands of my father and his people. So when he came with so much money, I didn’t consider the age differences. His children too didn’t support me, but since he was in love with me; they didn’t have a choice but to accept me especially as he threatened to disinherit any child who went against his wishes. As at the time I married him last year, his first son was away in England. Now he is back and I find myself wanting him more than anything in the world. Severally, I have tried to make him sleep with me, but he won’t. I know I am acting shamelessly being married to his father, but I simply cannot stop loving him. This prompted me to seek the help of a spiritualist who gave me something I have been putting in their drinks. The spiritualist gave me two different substances he said would make the son love me on one hand and the father to hate me on the other hand. From the moment they each drank their substances, the son became all over me while my husband doesn’t even care about me or know anything happening around him anymore. Since my husband started taking the substance, his health has started to depreciate so much so he is now a shadow of his old self. He behaves like a baby. He appears to have lost all initiative of his own. About three weeks ago, he suffered minor stroke. His family members are now accusing me of being the cause of his problem. As if that isn’t enough, I am pregnant for his son. When I told him, he sat down and began to cry, denying ever sleeping with me. He said he isn’t a bastard that would attempt sleeping with his father’s wife. Something tells me he has recognition of what took place between us but he isn’t so sure of it. However, he avoids me these days and refuses to come near me. He obviously has regained himself. The friend who took me to the spiritualist says we should go back to renew the charm and that I should keep the baby. But what will happen if my husband dies? From what I am seeing, I would be without anything if he dies. And even if I keep this pregnancy, his son may never accept it from me. The only thing I can do is to pass it off as his, but should they insist on DNA test, will it not reveal who the real father of the child is? Do you suggest I keep the baby? How do I make the son accept the paternity of the baby should the test point him as being responsible? My friend said going back to the spiritualist would undo what he did to my husband, but that would mean having to explain to him how I came about the baby. I am so confused. Please, help me. I need your help urgently. Confused Wife. Dear Confused Wife, Calling you names won’t resolve the issues on the ground. But the truth has to be told irrespective of what you think. You have definitely wrapped yourself in a very tight web, one that will definitely cause more problems for you if not properly managed. Even at that there is no wishing away the permanent injury your selfishness has brought on this once happy family. First thing you should do now is to desist from discussing your problems with your friends, especially the one who took you to the spiritualist. You have done so much harm already. Your going to that spiritualist is mainly the cause of the huge commotion in your life. This is of course in addition to your greed as a woman. If not greed, you should never have married him in the first place, because you knew you didn’t have any feelings for him. Having married him, you should have also have realised that temptations will come from other younger men and prepare for it. Your responsibility to your husband is to remain faithful to him at all times. At the point you said you do to this man, you had no right to be interested in another man, especially his son. Nobody forced you into marrying him. You did of your own accord, so you should have had the reserve to resist the attraction of another man. It was the same greed that pushed you to the spiritualist who did what you paid him to do – to gradually kill your husband all because you desired his son. What did you expect that the son would continue in an affair with you after the charm wears off? He can deny being the father of your child because he slept with you against his will, he wasn’t even aware of what he was doing because your charm blinded him to reason. The simple truth is, all the time he was sleeping with you, he wasn’t conscious of the act. So that part of his brain is completely blank. If you argue with him from today till tomorrow, he will never be convinced that he is the father of your unborn baby. Besides, how are you going to explain to the world that you were sleeping with both father and son at the same time? What moral ground do you have to insist that your stepson got you pregnant? Furthermore, the issue on the ground now goes beyond the issue of your pregnancy to the life of the man who is very ill as a result of the substance you gave him. It would be in your interest to pray he doesn’t die in the process because you remain the prime suspect especially if poison is found in his system. Do all you can to reverse whatever the spiritualist did to put him in that condition. Go back to the spiritualist to undo whatever he did to your husband. What is important now is his life, and not the mundane issue of the paternity of your child. The only offence that man committed was to propose and marry you. He sincerely doesn’t deserve to die on account of that. So, if you felt anything for him at the point you agreed to marry him, please do it to save his life. Even if you don’t need him, his children do. He married you because he wanted company in his old age following the death of his wife. You really don’t have to stay married to him if you don’t want him anymore, but allow him the grace to his health and life. How would you feel if he eventually dies as a result of the things you have been putting in his drinks? If despite the charms you have been lacing the drinks of the son, he still manages to regain his senses it is only a matter of time before your husband becomes aware of what you have done or who got you pregnant. At least from the age of the pregnancy, he would know if he is responsible or not. The knowledge that you are pregnant with another man’s child is enough; getting to know that his son got you pregnant will definitely kill him. So the responsible thing is for you to bow out of their lives, because you lack the qualities this man needs in his woman. Marrying for money is one thing. It becomes frightening when you become desperate enough to go to the length you had gone in order to achieve your aim of charming both son and father. Marriage needs commitment, loyalty, sacrifices and selflessness to make it work at every point. Once a woman cannot give it to her husband, there is no basis for the marriage. If you were talking from the point of regret at what you have done to this family; it would have been a different story but that you are more bothered about your baby and person means given the opportunity to do what you did all over again, you won’t hesitate. Self-discipline makes a whole lot of difference in life. You lack it. Since money is your motivation, you may get something out of him if you insist on divorce while he is still alive, but if you stay until he dies, you will never be able to get anything. As for your pregnancy, you knew what you were doing when you made the choice to sleep with your son-in-law therefore the choice to keep it or not is yours. Even if the DNA result remains inconclusive since father and son share the same gene, in your heart you know who the father is. This issue is a matter of conscience. If you have one, you will know the right thing to do. Good luck.