Re: My friend’s mother died in my arms

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com,Tel: 08054500626


Dear Agatha,
I read the story of this young man. I also had similar experience with the wife of a friend of mine who openly expressed her preference for me right in the presence of her husband some years ago.

Agatha, the temptation is often high when one is invited by the woman to do it. Some women just cannot have enough of it so look for someone outside their home to add to the pleasure they are getting at home.

Robin need not tell or ask anybody for forgiveness. It will spread and aggravate the scandal. Besides, the family may never forgive him. The guilt he is feeling will be more than enough punishment for him throughout his life time.

He should instead approach God directly for forgiveness. Once God forgives him, he becomes free.

Adebayo.



Dear Agatha,

I read your column on the above subject and it was like reading my story but in my case, the woman didn’t die.

She was the mother of my best friend. I have never told anybody this story but something deep inside me, after reading Robin’s story, wants me to share this story with young men who find themselves in the same position Robin and I found ourselves.

I am 56 years old now. This woman and my mother were friends. We all grew up as one family. Her son and I have been friends since we were babies. As a matter of fact, my mother was her chief bride’s maid when she got married.

Right from as far as I can remember, she has always had a very soft spot for me. As I grew up, it became obvious to everybody that she took special interest in me, even more than her son. Severally, I got things she would ordinarily never part with from her.

During our secondary school days, whenever she came on a visit to our school, we were boarders, she would come with so many things for us. Me, she would give extra money which always made me happy. Fortunately, this didn’t affect my relationship with her son. As a matter of fact, my friend and I took advantage of this. Whenever we needed money, all I had to do was ask his mother.

The first time I noticed her interest was when I was in form four. I had come down with fever prompting the school to send me home. My mother wasn’t around when I came home. She was away to Kano to buy groundnut oil. She was a big trader in Iddo market.

Since she was at home, it was as good as having my mother with me. Few days after I came home, she invited me to her room to help her with something. When I came into the room, she was completely naked. I ran out of the room but she told me not to worry; that all I have to do is sleep beside her.

I resisted. She didn’t say anything or attempt it until my first year in the university. I was the only one at home when she came in. I had been watching an adult film so her timing was right. That day, I slept with her and it became a regular thing between us. Whenever she came to visit us in school, few minutes later, I would disappear to meet her at our hide out. It went on until our graduation. During my youth service, she will always look for an excuse to visit me in my host state. Unknown to us, a lot of people had begun to notice and were beginning to talk.

Eventually the talks got to her son who defended me. He fought bitterly with the friend who made the remarks I decided there and then to stop. The guilt of his implicit trust in me was too much for me that I started to run from his mother.

She eventually gave up on me when I asked to stay back in Kano after my youth service. I only resumed going to their house when she died some few years back.

Agatha, from my experience, a woman will never let go until she gets what she wants. In retrospect, I regret what I did with her; the memories still hunt me especially when my friend and his family come visiting.

Robin cannot be blamed for what he did. These elderly women are very experienced and not shy in asking for what they want. My friend’s mother said it was my vitality she liked about our affair. She said, her husband alone cannot drive her to satisfaction hence needed me to do that for her.

It is really tough when one comes across such women. Only very few young men can resist a determined mature woman.

Robin, like me, should resign to faith and allow the hands of time heal him. Although it never completely goes away, but over time he would be able to function well.

Temisan.